Saturday, February 10, 2007

Possible fathers for Anna Nicole's Baby

Howard K. Stern
Larry Birkhead
Prince Frederick Von Anhalt
Sperm of 90 year old dead husband
Hugh Hefner
Howard Stern, disc jockey
Bill Clinton
The alien at area 51
Elvis Presley
a lesbian affair gone oddly wrong
William Hung
my boyfriend
my neutered dog
Flavor Flav
Osama bin Laden
Bugs Bunny

Oh the list could go on and on. Our obsession with this woman is odd to me. No one paid her much mind when she was alive except to make fun of her slurry, boobified, squeaky-voiced ass. No one. All of a sudden, she's this amazing woman that the world is grieving over? I don't understand.

BUT, if there's any chance i can get ahold of some of that fortune, then, I must do the right thing and step forward as the father of Dannielle. Come to daddy, baby...


Blogger Valerie said...

I've always liked her. Train wreck and all. It is quite sad for her baby though. Man, it BETTER be Howard K Sterns.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Slinky Redfoot said...

My obsessionw with her is/was 2-fold. As in her set of perfect you know whats.

10:32 AM  
Blogger Tanya Kristine said...

well i couldn't help but watch her E show either...and are you shitting me? howard stern is a fucking money grubber. he's sold every video they made together and personal stuff about her just to MAKE money. no better be the sperm from her octegarian husband.

you call those perfect? ew.

11:12 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

get in line honey....I want some of the dough too!

11:12 AM  
Blogger buffalodickdy said...

I praying that the blood test proves it's not her child....

3:07 PM  
Blogger Carrieā„¢ said...

I think her "lawyer" killed her son, then killed her so he could get his hands on money which now belongs to his "daughter". I really hope the DNA test shows that TK is the father. She would treat the girl right & teach her all of the important things a father should teach his daughter - how to knit, how to make cookies, take her to sex toy parties & keggers. Good times.

1:04 AM  
Blogger Urban Vegan said...

Bossa Nova says that SHE is the father.

8:09 PM  
Blogger pinknest said...

i also agree with carrie's theory!

5:38 AM  
Blogger Vicki said...

whata bizarre situation! poor baby girl has some big legal issues...

3:52 PM  
Blogger Sornie said...

You forgot the creepiest option, her deceased son was the dad.

Sorry if that makes your stomach turn.

5:45 PM  
Blogger buffalodickdy said...

It took awhile, but I've figured it out. Professor Plum did it in the Conservatory with a candlestick!

2:09 AM  
Blogger Autumn said...

oh anna...

i wonder if i'll be more popular after i die too ...

9:58 AM  
Blogger Baba Ganoush said...

It's gotta be William Hung!

Can you even imagine William Hung gettin' jiggy with Anna Nicole. Tha would be quite the site!

11:16 AM  
Blogger Kayla said...

I'd have to pray the daddy was either Bugs Bunny or the Alien at 51 out of that list of unsavory character!
If it's Bugs, then at least the baby will be cute, and have a sense of humor.
If it's the Alien, at least the baby has another homeworld to run away to!

12:35 PM  
Blogger Eve said...

Did people respect Marilyn when she was alive? I wonder.

12:58 PM  
Blogger Travis said...

Wow, nobody has mentioned the ghost that she claimed had sex with her a few years ago? Come on, we all know it was the ghost, nobody else in there right mind would wanna tap that *shudder*

5:16 PM  

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