CALIFORNIA STATE FAIR!

Nothing screams white trash louder than a fair lover. and that i wear proudly.

We originally had like 13 girls going but of course that whittles down as the day approaches and 5 showed up.

Janet and I prepared for our day the best way we know how:


But two flasks of vodka is just never enough so we headed over to our favorite bar; the Tallac Lounge. (just to prove it's our favorite bar, we had keychains made at the fair claiming our love. For the bar, I mean)



The Tallac was closed. Bummed, but not discouraged, we went over to Stingers which has the best outside area to smoke, drink & chat - our 3 most favorite things.



The bartender told us, after we mentioned we're going to the fair with our flasks, that they had a metal detector now! There was NO way we'd risk losing our precious babies so we poured our liquid heaven into an old water bottle I had in the car. Come to find out there WAS NO METAL DETECTOR. that fucker is buying us a round o'drinks on our next visit.

No matter because we got in okay. Man, i cannot describe how excited i feel once we've paid and are in the fair. i just think i'm going to have to go again becuase one day was NOT enough.

Since Dena and Sally weren't going to meet us for another 3 hours, Janet and i decided to get a beer. We weren't allowed to go through the "as seen on tv" buildings yet becuase Dena likes to go through those too. But she doesn't like the art exhibits so we headed over towards that area.

Before we go in to the buildings, we watched the little irish dancers on the center stage and were able to catch the last 10 minutes of the show. it was really great!




NOW, we head to the art stuff. There are 8 buildings to go through. we skipped the toyrus becuase that's way too many kids, bleh, and the boat one cuz unless i'm on a boat, i have no interest in them.

we captured a few arty things but none was more devasting than this exhibit...






The green pile are toy soldiers. it depicts the number of men & women that have been wounded during our current war. Surrounding the green pile are little grave markers with the name of each soldier that has died to date. It was amazing to see. The pile was about 4 feet high and as round as a mature tree...ick.


Anyway, and on to more somber news - we also have a 9/11 exhibit which contains a huge marble ball with the names of those that died during that attack.



Beside the ball are the actual beams from the twin towers:

Okay. That's enough depressing shit.

Finally, our girls call and say they're on their way so we waited for them by the Golden Bear. (that's the fair's mascot) Here we are relaxing and catching up. Sally must stink because we're shying away from her. hahahah LULU'S!

(sally, dena, me & Keema - Janet is taking the pix)

Dena and Keema didn't stay long becuase dena's daughter-in-law went in to labor that morning. bitch...didn't she know we had a fair date??? I hate when stuff like that gets in MY way. Keema just wanted to leave, i think, after she spent a few minutes with me and Janet. But it was all good becuase that left Sally, me & Janet and we all party at the same pace.

So what's our first move? Beer.

Waht's our 2nd move? Beer.

Our 3rd move is to sit down, chat and party a little. Sally got HER flask in - bitch.

Her flask has a beautiful bunch of grapes with Janet's background...so pretty...

Our 4th move involved (finally!) the 'as seen on tv' buildings and more beer. I usually spend any where from 100 to 300 dollars at the fair (most on beer)...i only spent $140 this year and that included...well....lots of beer. and i'm ashamed to say, about 17,328 calories of CRAP food. my stomach hurt so bad i had to sleep on my side. ain't THAT a pretty picture?

Speaking of pretty picture:


Sally behind the wine counter, pushing wine she didn't have.

So my (and Janet's) first 'as seen on tv' purchase was a double-sided dog brush. I used it last night. i was NOT impressed but that's why beer is good! it makes everything seem so much better than it really is. Janet bought the chamois cloths that she's also holding. those are AMAZING!

here's me by two weird shaking old people:


(nice rack, eh? What is that; sterling silver???)

And every once in a while, i'll get some deviant behavior in my system and it plays out all night. Tonights behavioral issue was moving all dresses off of the mannequin's boobies:


(I hate my camera)

We head to the cool rainforest area that's all wet & humid which i love...and waterfalls EVERY WHERE!

and scary charging elephants that bring out the double chin in me!

and NO night would be complete without those goofy photo shoots in the booth.

I put the damn token in too soon so the first shot is us, 3 grown women, trying to get situation in a room the size of an airplane bathroom. The rest are hilarious.



It was the most mellowest fair night that really flowed quite nicely. we were never over-heated, over-drunk or under-hungry (ahem). we didn't get irritated or argue or even want different things than the other. We stayed until the fireworks and all made it home safely so i'd say it was the PERFECT California State Fair day!

Thanks girls!!