Monday, August 20, 2007


Nothing screams white trash louder than a fair lover. and that i wear proudly.

We originally had like 13 girls going but of course that whittles down as the day approaches and 5 showed up.

Janet and I prepared for our day the best way we know how:

But two flasks of vodka is just never enough so we headed over to our favorite bar; the Tallac Lounge. (just to prove it's our favorite bar, we had keychains made at the fair claiming our love. For the bar, I mean)

The Tallac was closed. Bummed, but not discouraged, we went over to Stingers which has the best outside area to smoke, drink & chat - our 3 most favorite things.

The bartender told us, after we mentioned we're going to the fair with our flasks, that they had a metal detector now! There was NO way we'd risk losing our precious babies so we poured our liquid heaven into an old water bottle I had in the car. Come to find out there WAS NO METAL DETECTOR. that fucker is buying us a round o'drinks on our next visit.

No matter because we got in okay. Man, i cannot describe how excited i feel once we've paid and are in the fair. i just think i'm going to have to go again becuase one day was NOT enough.

Since Dena and Sally weren't going to meet us for another 3 hours, Janet and i decided to get a beer. We weren't allowed to go through the "as seen on tv" buildings yet becuase Dena likes to go through those too. But she doesn't like the art exhibits so we headed over towards that area.

Before we go in to the buildings, we watched the little irish dancers on the center stage and were able to catch the last 10 minutes of the show. it was really great!

NOW, we head to the art stuff. There are 8 buildings to go through. we skipped the toyrus becuase that's way too many kids, bleh, and the boat one cuz unless i'm on a boat, i have no interest in them.

we captured a few arty things but none was more devasting than this exhibit...

The green pile are toy soldiers. it depicts the number of men & women that have been wounded during our current war. Surrounding the green pile are little grave markers with the name of each soldier that has died to date. It was amazing to see. The pile was about 4 feet high and as round as a mature tree...ick.

Anyway, and on to more somber news - we also have a 9/11 exhibit which contains a huge marble ball with the names of those that died during that attack.

Beside the ball are the actual beams from the twin towers:

Okay. That's enough depressing shit.

Finally, our girls call and say they're on their way so we waited for them by the Golden Bear. (that's the fair's mascot) Here we are relaxing and catching up. Sally must stink because we're shying away from her. hahahah LULU'S!

(sally, dena, me & Keema - Janet is taking the pix)

Dena and Keema didn't stay long becuase dena's daughter-in-law went in to labor that morning. bitch...didn't she know we had a fair date??? I hate when stuff like that gets in MY way. Keema just wanted to leave, i think, after she spent a few minutes with me and Janet. But it was all good becuase that left Sally, me & Janet and we all party at the same pace.

So what's our first move? Beer.

Waht's our 2nd move? Beer.

Our 3rd move is to sit down, chat and party a little. Sally got HER flask in - bitch.

Her flask has a beautiful bunch of grapes with Janet's pretty...

Our 4th move involved (finally!) the 'as seen on tv' buildings and more beer. I usually spend any where from 100 to 300 dollars at the fair (most on beer)...i only spent $140 this year and that included...well....lots of beer. and i'm ashamed to say, about 17,328 calories of CRAP food. my stomach hurt so bad i had to sleep on my side. ain't THAT a pretty picture?

Speaking of pretty picture:

Sally behind the wine counter, pushing wine she didn't have.

So my (and Janet's) first 'as seen on tv' purchase was a double-sided dog brush. I used it last night. i was NOT impressed but that's why beer is good! it makes everything seem so much better than it really is. Janet bought the chamois cloths that she's also holding. those are AMAZING!

here's me by two weird shaking old people:

(nice rack, eh? What is that; sterling silver???)

And every once in a while, i'll get some deviant behavior in my system and it plays out all night. Tonights behavioral issue was moving all dresses off of the mannequin's boobies:

(I hate my camera)

We head to the cool rainforest area that's all wet & humid which i love...and waterfalls EVERY WHERE!

and scary charging elephants that bring out the double chin in me!

and NO night would be complete without those goofy photo shoots in the booth.

I put the damn token in too soon so the first shot is us, 3 grown women, trying to get situation in a room the size of an airplane bathroom. The rest are hilarious.

It was the most mellowest fair night that really flowed quite nicely. we were never over-heated, over-drunk or under-hungry (ahem). we didn't get irritated or argue or even want different things than the other. We stayed until the fireworks and all made it home safely so i'd say it was the PERFECT California State Fair day!

Thanks girls!!


Blogger urban vegan said...

TK, you are not going to like hearing this, but you are gorgeous.

And it looks like you had a blast at the fair. That art exhibit was sobering. It's like a bad drea, except that it's real.

5:28 PM  
Blogger fatwonkkid said...

i wouldn't say fairs scream white trash, although a lot of white trash do tend to go to them.

i am kinda looking forward to the multi-state fair in a couple months...

6:13 PM  
Blogger Tanya Kristine said...

Oh lordy. part of me hates that and a part of me doesn't! :) but i thank either way....

and i want to pull your hair out and there's nothing you can do. we're being ruled.

yeah...i think we're gonna go back. it was fun. fattening though...

6:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aaaggghhh! I was going to say the same thing as UV. You are looking more and more beautiful every day. I don't know what it is but damn, you are so radiant in every one of those pics.

Sounds like a fun day. I skipped out on our State fair and now I'm regreting it. That are exhibit is really incredible. I wonder how long it took that person to create it. I agree with her thoughts about sacrifice.

7:22 PM  
Blogger buffalodickdy said...

Looked like a great day to be alive! Michigan has a number of fairs in the summer, with the state fair being weaker than some of the county fairs! It is hard not to stare at how few teeth some of these people have....

4:29 AM  
Blogger Tofu Mom (AKA Tofu-n-Sprouts) said...

Ahhh... our little town lives and breathes Fair Season - third largest in the country or some such meaningless statistic... all 14 long, hot, dusty, cow-and-horse smelling, Country-music, BBQ-smoke filled days...

And my girlfriends and I celebrate in a similar manner (though getting IN to the fair breaks my pocketbook! I have to bring a REALLY big flask to keep up with the festivities..)

Looks like FUN!!!

9:21 AM  
Blogger Michelle Ann said...

I purchase those Chamois things that Janet was holding EVERY year... I think I may have a problem.

You didn't give us a running list of all the yummy fried foods you may need a second post.

12:30 PM  
Blogger doggybloggy said...

I love fairs! People who comment on white trash are typically just one step removed - if at all. So that being said - who cares.

2:38 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I'm tellin and your girls have THE most fun ever, and I so want to hang out with you!!!

This looked ike so much fun and the flasks are great!

3:29 PM  
Blogger tabitha jane said...

you are just soooo beautiful! i cannot get over it!

9:20 AM  

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