Yucky Baby Showers

Andy and I had to go to a work babyshower yesterday. Personally I HATE these things but I knew there’d be food so I went.

One of our co-workers there had wicked long fingernails so I leaned over to Andy and said how horrible that would be to have such long fingernails.
(NO exaggeration!)

Andy, being a guy, could only comment how hard it would be to scratch your ass. And me being a guy, I’m like Oh YEAH…that would be nearly impossible! I tried to figure out how she would, indeed, scratch her ass when Andy and I realized we weren’t talking about the same thing. He was talking about her ass CHEEK but I was talking about her ass HOLE.

So, of course I take it further…because sometimes that itch is a friggin’ emergency! You know what i mean....when you’re walking down the street, minding your own business when ZING!…you get that twang in your pucker button and you just have to get to it immediately.

But not with nails like those….no sir. I’ll keep mine short in the event of an emergency.