Yucky Baby Showers
Andy and I had to go to a work babyshower yesterday. Personally I HATE these things but I knew there’d be food so I went.
One of our co-workers there had wicked long fingernails so I leaned over to Andy and said how horrible that would be to have such long fingernails.
(NO exaggeration!)
Andy, being a guy, could only comment how hard it would be to scratch your ass. And me being a guy, I’m like Oh YEAH…that would be nearly impossible! I tried to figure out how she would, indeed, scratch her ass when Andy and I realized we weren’t talking about the same thing. He was talking about her ass CHEEK but I was talking about her ass HOLE.
So, of course I take it further…because sometimes that itch is a friggin’ emergency! You know what i mean....when you’re walking down the street, minding your own business when ZING!…you get that twang in your pucker button and you just have to get to it immediately.
But not with nails like those….no sir. I’ll keep mine short in the event of an emergency.
One of our co-workers there had wicked long fingernails so I leaned over to Andy and said how horrible that would be to have such long fingernails.
(NO exaggeration!)Andy, being a guy, could only comment how hard it would be to scratch your ass. And me being a guy, I’m like Oh YEAH…that would be nearly impossible! I tried to figure out how she would, indeed, scratch her ass when Andy and I realized we weren’t talking about the same thing. He was talking about her ass CHEEK but I was talking about her ass HOLE.
So, of course I take it further…because sometimes that itch is a friggin’ emergency! You know what i mean....when you’re walking down the street, minding your own business when ZING!…you get that twang in your pucker button and you just have to get to it immediately.
But not with nails like those….no sir. I’ll keep mine short in the event of an emergency.
posted by Tanya Kristine at 8:23 AM
14 Comments:
Ha!Ha! Okay, now be honest with us:-)
GROSS...totally and unacceptably gross!
don't be ashamed DB...you're an offender.
OH MY GOD. PUCKER BUTTON. I LOVE IT. HOWLING HERE! OH DB, grow some fingernails!
this is what makes your blog so blogworthy and readable.
I rub up against sharp objects - I use my hands to cook with....
oh ok....pucker button is creative but thats as far as I go....
This is like a cocktail party conversation gone horribly wrong...
Thank you so much for the laugh. YOU really made my day!
i totally agree.. lol. it happened to me today. lol
Cheek/Hole debate not withstanding, think about all the other things that would be out of reach (Haha! I'm so punny) with those claws. Eyelid itchy? *poke* Well THAT eye won't be a problem again. Ever.
Pucker Button?!? OMG!
you slay me
hahahahhahaha
very funny
very nice
lol
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