Friday, September 07, 2007

Are you there God? It's me, Margaret...

I got yelled at for not blogging so what you'll get will probably be lame since i had nothing to say - hence the not blogging.

Last Friday, Janet and I rafted down the American River and almost died at the San Juan rapids. It's a measly little class 2.5 and I non-humbley tell Janet not to worry about it - I'll handle it.

I handled the raft, all right - right in to a vortex. It didn't look so big heading towards it but once we were in it, it was scary. I started to panic when Janet reminded me that "it's okay, it's okay...we'll be fine!" I know she has no idea but she was trying to calm me down. then 10 seconds later I hear her scream to a passerby "CAN YOU HELP US??? I'M SCARED!"

Way to go, Janet. I almost calmed down.

Our raft literally filled up to the rim with water. It wasn't budging. I saw beer floating vicariously to the edge and it was then i found my courage. I'm not losing a beer, by god! (I earlier saw my shoe float off but didn't quite give a shit about that. that sucked later on the super hot rocks carrying our crap to the park) I dug my oar in to the rock and i could slooooowly feel the raft move. So after Janet's cry for help, I assured her not to worry that we were, in fact, moving!

I never thought we'd get out of that really. When your raft fills up completely with water it becomes SUPER heavy. As we learned when we shakily rafted over to the edge to bail the raft out.

After about 30 minutes of bailing & silence, it was time to tip the raft over to completely drain the boat. I climbed up on a rock to get better leverage and Janet stayed on the other side.

With the raft up and ready to be over I asked Janet if she was ready and she answered "Yes!" So i dumped the raft over, saw a lump in the middle of the raft and heard her desperate scream "get it off me! get it off me!!!"

At that point, it just became super funny. We almost died but didn't, we almost lost our beers, but didn't, Janet almost broke her neck, but didn't...and in the end we actually had more than enough memories to store in our fun bank.

And by the way, after my hot trek up the scalding rocks to the park, i found my shoe. Some guy had two mismatched flip-flops and one of those was mine :)

12 Comments:

Blogger doggybloggy said...

see...nothing to say and you said a lot...sounds like a nice adventure...

6:55 AM  
Blogger buffalodickdy said...

Lucy and Ethel live-reincarnated in 2 broads living in the Land of Fruits and Nuts called California....

7:46 AM  
Blogger Michelle Ann said...

LOL! That is very funny. You've got to love Janet...trying to be maternal by telling you everything will be fine and then desperately begging for help... Unfortunately, words alone cannot capture the kookiness that is Tanya and Janet...it must be experienced.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Vivacious Vegan said...

What do you mean nothing to say? That is fucking hysterical. I can just picture it in my mind.

10:00 AM  
Blogger urban vegan said...

OMG. I'm glad you're OK.

8:56 AM  
Blogger Valerie said...

LOOOOOL awesome. Remind me to never go rafting with you. That ALMOST losing a beer thing, too close of a call for me to risk.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Carrieā„¢ said...

Whew! You guys got out safe, Janet didn't break her neck, you got your flip-flop back and didn't lose one beer. Amazing. If this is your idea of nothing to post, I can't imagine what it will be like when you DO have something to tell us. Geez girl! That was hilarious!

9:02 PM  
Blogger Shananigans said...

Agreed, excellent story! Glad everyone made it out ok. :)

7:32 AM  
Blogger Tanya Kristine said...

awww...thanks for the comments. i guess i feel a post istn'a post without pictures. but no camera would ahve survived THAT mess!

2:00 PM  
Blogger tabitha jane said...

fabulous story.
mine? i went rafting with friends on the deschutes a week before my wedding (one of the friends was a groomsman). our raft tipped over. i was thrown out. the raft went over my head. i came up on the other side and grabbed the raft. my butt hit a rock.

the groomsman pulled me back in and saved my life.

i got married with a bruised butt.

6:33 PM  
Blogger Vicki's Vegan Vice said...

A big "thank you" to whoever bugged you into blogging! This story has it all... High-stakes drama, hot women, and a happy ending. :)

9:47 PM  
Blogger debbyd said...

OH MY GOD YOU HAVE FOUND THE NEW DEBBY. I WISH I WAS THERE. MY BELLY IS ACHING. YEP MY SIDES ARE SPLITTING BECAUSE I KNOW YOU SO WELL. I THINK THE BEER WAS YOUR SAVIOR. ALL HAIL THE BEER.

6:21 PM  

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