Sunday, June 12, 2011

blah, blah, blah blah BLAH!

Sunday is always a weird day for me. Today is no exception. I woke up slightly hungover to a text from my brother that he was on his way to my house to take me to the farmers market. I decided it was too precious of a time with him to miss so regardless that I didn’t feel 100%, I was going.

And it was really an awesome time. I bought lettuce, good olive oil, heirloom tomatoes, herbs, a Californian native plant and some fava beans. A pretty hot chick at the market, whom my brother was trying to pick up on, suggested that I steam the fava beans, peel off the outer layer and then sauté them in olive oil & garlic. That’s what I’m gonna do.

I chatted with Anna on the phone a bit later and she said the nicest thing to me. And when someone follows up a compliment like that with “I don’t really say that to many people” I knew it was genuine. So I’ve decided I’m going to really try hard to like myself. Not only did Anna say something nice to me but two other people over the weekend did too. One knew me and the other I had just met. A chick, no less! SO. Other people see me as something I cannot and do not see. And although I’ve been tired of how I treat myself for 30+ years, today it’s going to change.

Well not today because today I’m drinking. Speaking of drinking, I realized today that when I drink I toooooootally live in the moment. And really that’s the secret to happiness. So in a very weird and dysfunctional way, I’ve finally defined my drinking that makes sense. NOW what I’d like to do is figure out a way to live in the moment WITHOUT alcohol.

Lord. That’s some sporadic writing but I’m typing what I’m thinking and missing tiny little things along the way. I know what I mean and that’s just okay.

I’m baby sitting Jake for the next week and while I was looking at him while unloading the dishwasher I realized I saved that dog from certain death. I took him on as a foster, as old as he was, and finally found him a mom who adores him. That made me think of all the other dogs I saved in the last few years. Charlie – the black lab? AWESOME. Took him hiking in tahoe and found his future family while there….Betsy, sick & dying and who eventually went blind found the BEST mom she’d ever be able to find. Seriously. Jack, the dog I stole from the pound, found a family that actually started to like him more than the original family dog. I may not offer much to this world; but, if I saved ONE dog from death only to find happiness and love, that makes me feel pretty good. And I’ve saved 4.

The A’s lost and now that I’m in a rare moment where I don’t hate Kevin, I feel bad but the red sox are fucking kicking ass….yay for me!

Other noteworthy notes: Casey Anthony is fucked. And;
And I’m glad I’m not Casey Anthony.

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