Opening statement and a movin on story...
I want to let go of the first half of my life and fully welcome the second half.
I had a horrific last month, one that completely debilitated me and I almost didn’t make it out alive. But I crawled through it suffering pretty significant injuries. I can only pray that I take the second half seriously and truly work on myself. I have no idea why I hate myself so much but I’m pretty sure it has to do with a volatile upbringing and alcoholism.
And constantly looking back with regret and shame.
I can do nothing about the past, nor can I change the present; I can only shape my future with only myself in mind. And I’m going to start with my age-old fight with health. I need to fast to clean out my body of years of shit & pain. I’ve done a fast before and I hated it so this time I want to approach it with hope and a good want. My brother recommended a movie called fat, sick & nearly dead and it was incredibly inspiring. I even clapped like a gayblade a few times; that’s how amazing it was. And if that 400# trucker can do it, I surely can.
14 days is my goal. (ahem...maybe 10?) You know what sucks is I really don’t LIKE juice so I’m hoping adding some fruit will make it all palatable. But no matter, I’m doing it. I’ll include yoga & meditation and nice walks with my dog. I’ll focus on the good things to come and continue to walk the direction I’m to walk.
Thursday Night Out
Sally's friends figured out the acronym for us girls is STD. hahahah...Sally, Tanya, Dena...i'm just glad I'm not "D".
So I met the girls for dinner and chats at Centro's. Hadn't seen Sally in ages and, of course, she's exactly the same. did i expect anything different? and dena too...always got her hands in sally's boobs...what is UP with that?
iPhone takes the crappiest pictures. Or is it just the photographer? Anyway you can't see it but Dave bought Sally a gorgeous "i'm serious" ring. I asked her when they were gonna get married and she said "oh, we're not." like i just asked her if she liked the salsa. But they both have been married before, they're older and just don't see the need. I can agree with that. At our age, marriage seems silly; like a romantic fairy tale. And unless there's a good financial reason, there really IS no need.
Unless you're drunk in Tahoe...then it's just a fun event.
But a ring? absolutely. there is absolutely a need for the ring.
After dinner, we went over the art studio to see Monica and a few of her booby photographs. I always feel so phony in an art gallery. It just does NOT interest me unless it's amazing art and I rarely see amazing art. I do like photography but not your typical photographs where everyone thinks they're an artist. Like my next picture: This is a still piece I like to call "fuckyoumomforleavingmealoneallnight". Notice the angle and the capturance of the culprit in the background?? now that is breathtaking artwork
After the art thing we went over to Brian Wheats house (drummer of Tesla...yes i was hangin with a SUPER STAR!!!) He owns this beautiful victorian on Capitol Ave...i guess it had partially burned down a few months ago and has since been remodeled. it was really beautiful inside. He was too in to the Yankee game to entertain us and he was FOR the yankees so I thought it'd best if we left soon...(and they lost. ha!)
Went to see The Gods of Carnage at B Street.
It is not easy to make me laugh out loud..only the best can do that: larry david, Louis CK, Worlds Dumbest, etc., and this was no exception. It was a really good idea and it was very well done but just not laugh out loud funny. for me, anyway. Others were cacklin' away so yay for them.
And after that, I dropped the girls off at their cars, since they were both hammered all night...hahahah....and headed home for a good-ass heavy sleep.
Hey! I get to be excited about Fridays again!! (although, truth be told...i still prefer the "every day is saturday" theme.)
I had a horrific last month, one that completely debilitated me and I almost didn’t make it out alive. But I crawled through it suffering pretty significant injuries. I can only pray that I take the second half seriously and truly work on myself. I have no idea why I hate myself so much but I’m pretty sure it has to do with a volatile upbringing and alcoholism.
And constantly looking back with regret and shame.
I can do nothing about the past, nor can I change the present; I can only shape my future with only myself in mind. And I’m going to start with my age-old fight with health. I need to fast to clean out my body of years of shit & pain. I’ve done a fast before and I hated it so this time I want to approach it with hope and a good want. My brother recommended a movie called fat, sick & nearly dead and it was incredibly inspiring. I even clapped like a gayblade a few times; that’s how amazing it was. And if that 400# trucker can do it, I surely can.
14 days is my goal. (ahem...maybe 10?) You know what sucks is I really don’t LIKE juice so I’m hoping adding some fruit will make it all palatable. But no matter, I’m doing it. I’ll include yoga & meditation and nice walks with my dog. I’ll focus on the good things to come and continue to walk the direction I’m to walk.
Thursday Night Out
Sally's friends figured out the acronym for us girls is STD. hahahah...Sally, Tanya, Dena...i'm just glad I'm not "D".
So I met the girls for dinner and chats at Centro's. Hadn't seen Sally in ages and, of course, she's exactly the same. did i expect anything different? and dena too...always got her hands in sally's boobs...what is UP with that?
iPhone takes the crappiest pictures. Or is it just the photographer? Anyway you can't see it but Dave bought Sally a gorgeous "i'm serious" ring. I asked her when they were gonna get married and she said "oh, we're not." like i just asked her if she liked the salsa. But they both have been married before, they're older and just don't see the need. I can agree with that. At our age, marriage seems silly; like a romantic fairy tale. And unless there's a good financial reason, there really IS no need.
Unless you're drunk in Tahoe...then it's just a fun event.
But a ring? absolutely. there is absolutely a need for the ring.
After dinner, we went over the art studio to see Monica and a few of her booby photographs. I always feel so phony in an art gallery. It just does NOT interest me unless it's amazing art and I rarely see amazing art. I do like photography but not your typical photographs where everyone thinks they're an artist. Like my next picture: This is a still piece I like to call "fuckyoumomforleavingmealoneallnight". Notice the angle and the capturance of the culprit in the background?? now that is breathtaking artwork
After the art thing we went over to Brian Wheats house (drummer of Tesla...yes i was hangin with a SUPER STAR!!!) He owns this beautiful victorian on Capitol Ave...i guess it had partially burned down a few months ago and has since been remodeled. it was really beautiful inside. He was too in to the Yankee game to entertain us and he was FOR the yankees so I thought it'd best if we left soon...(and they lost. ha!)
Went to see The Gods of Carnage at B Street.
It is not easy to make me laugh out loud..only the best can do that: larry david, Louis CK, Worlds Dumbest, etc., and this was no exception. It was a really good idea and it was very well done but just not laugh out loud funny. for me, anyway. Others were cacklin' away so yay for them.
And after that, I dropped the girls off at their cars, since they were both hammered all night...hahahah....and headed home for a good-ass heavy sleep.
Hey! I get to be excited about Fridays again!! (although, truth be told...i still prefer the "every day is saturday" theme.)
posted by Tanya Kristine at 11:07 AM
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