SHITTY fucking day

Just when you think you're really on a roll and doing really well..BAM! right down the fucking toilet.

it's funny how we all tell ourselves "yeah i'm doing good...it's all right...no worries" when really you're praying you're telling the truth. And when you realize you're not doing good and it's not all right, it sucks.

I had a nice conversation with the boy though. he's always so incredibly kind & patient. i wish he were just a womanizing asshole; this would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier.

not much i can do. It brings me no peace to dwell on the unchangeable so me thinks i shall try to stop dwelling. And this cold glass of chardonnay is gonna help me with that.