christmas
I'm not much for Christmas. It's a holiday that stresses people out, makes single people depressed and glorifies consumerism.
yuck.
I usually make zero plans for Christmas becuase i don't care. and i don't get depressed either. I rather revel in the fact that i get a day off from work. why WOULD i be depressed?
One year, however, my girlfriend Natalie invited me to San Francisco to be with her family. They live in the marina district and i love these people. They're very upper, upper class and who, by probably reason that i'm their daughters friend, love me too. My friends mother, Judy, is like a movie star...she's glamorous, proper and really has a lovely sense of humor. Her husband, Dan, is a golfer, quiet and genial.
I saw'r that Judy and Dan had got me a gift so i had to hoof it up to Walgreens and buy everyone a gift too! (ain't i nice?) Judy & Dan got me a beautiful feminine gift, as expected and I got them some bath stuff and a few manly items for Dan.
For Natalie, i got her a thug cap and a vibrator.
a
thug
cap; and, a
vibrator.
It's a Homedics vibrator so technically it's supposed to be used to ease your tension. Judy, not sure how to react, just said "Oh my!
...you know, Natalie, i can take that back for you if you'd like..."
I tried to say i got it for her to help her through the stresses of her new job, you know...for her neck and shit; but, i could not stop laughing.
SO, Tanya rules for gift buying:
+ 
= one HAPPY Holiday
yuck.
I usually make zero plans for Christmas becuase i don't care. and i don't get depressed either. I rather revel in the fact that i get a day off from work. why WOULD i be depressed?
One year, however, my girlfriend Natalie invited me to San Francisco to be with her family. They live in the marina district and i love these people. They're very upper, upper class and who, by probably reason that i'm their daughters friend, love me too. My friends mother, Judy, is like a movie star...she's glamorous, proper and really has a lovely sense of humor. Her husband, Dan, is a golfer, quiet and genial.
I saw'r that Judy and Dan had got me a gift so i had to hoof it up to Walgreens and buy everyone a gift too! (ain't i nice?) Judy & Dan got me a beautiful feminine gift, as expected and I got them some bath stuff and a few manly items for Dan.
For Natalie, i got her a thug cap and a vibrator.
a
thug
cap; and, a
vibrator.
It's a Homedics vibrator so technically it's supposed to be used to ease your tension. Judy, not sure how to react, just said "Oh my!
...you know, Natalie, i can take that back for you if you'd like..."
I tried to say i got it for her to help her through the stresses of her new job, you know...for her neck and shit; but, i could not stop laughing.
SO, Tanya rules for gift buying:
+ 
= one HAPPY Holiday
posted by Tanya Kristine at 8:10 AM
9 Comments:
o.m.g.
you are awesome.
Uhhh, let's not exchange gifts this year, k? :D
Reminds me of a joke I once heard that involved an Adult book store and a plaid Thermos bottle.....
you sound like the life of the party as always.
HI TANYA! hehe, thanks for the laugh this morning. I don't much do Christmas either, except my family does so I have to humor them. I plan on baking some cookies from VwaV and making some picture CDs for most of my gifts, and buying the rest at Walgreens during my lunchreak today. :)
You're welcome to come to the cold middle part of the country and visit us for the holiday.
and Ummm.... how 'bout we just shop together. :) Then we'll come home for hot cooca.
First off, that thing looks like a turkey baster. Second, 'huff it up to Walgreens to get them a present.' Classy! ;)
For Natalie, i got her a thug cap and a vibrator.
That made me laugh so loud that my co-workers turned to look. Next year I'm coming to you for suggestions on what to buy for people.
thank you pn. sometimes i am.
VALERIE! you'd LOVE my gifts...they're clever.
BD...if its' what i'm thinking: ew.
VV...aww...i'm coming out of my shell.
Shanani: i knew we were alike. im' going to make some swedish oatmeal cookies that my mother has made for YEARS and i'm MAKING THEM VEGAN!!!! yay!
DORI! that sounds so lovely. you're very homey and this is a good time of year to be around that.
I love you Slinky.
and you too Joe. anyone that tells me i makke them laugh warms the cockles of my heart...
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