15 pounds down

Not what i expected but it's better than NOT 15 pounds down.

What I AM surprised about is i do not miss alcohol. at all. Although i've fantasized a little about food, it'snot been as bad as the other 3 times i've tried this diet. i feel unbelievably 100% committed to staying on this to the end. And though i get frustrated and feel hungry sometimes, i know it is what it is and there's nothing i can do about it. i HAVE to finish this to the very end. A to Z this time...not A to P. (as i said earlier...i know when i'm repeating myself!)

Denas coming over today and i'm going to m ake her watch an episode of I used to be fat. now i don't really like people and i only cry when animals are involved but this show actually makes me cry. They're young, they're struggling and yet they have their whole lives in front of them. maybe that's why i cry. i was there once and could have done something different too.

can't cry over spilled milk.

But also these kids work SO hard to achieve their goal. it's inspiring. and it made me realize my workouts are at the level of a 4 year old. hahahah....when i can, i'm fucking working out 2 hours a day. you watch.

okay, one hour. but still...

there was supposed to be snow today in sacramento. i actually dreamt several times i woke up, looked out the window and there was a winter wonderland. kody was asleep by the couch and i gently woke him up to take him outside to his favorite surprise. But, alas, i woke up to a frozen tundra....yeah...Kody had a BLAST romping around in the frost.