Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween

And I mark this day as the first day of the rest of my life.  Becuase if I can't turn my life around now, all bets are off.

While listening to my ipod on the bike trail yesterday, a track from The Secret came on.  I was going to forward it but since i was unusually, and as usual, depressed, I thought it might be something i needed to hear.  And it was.  your thoughts become reality.  You are what you think.  And, for the 18,337,321 time I was reminded that why i was feeling so shitty had everything to do with what i was focusing on. And I just don't focus, I obssess.  And then my actions support the obssessive thinking and I do.  I do things that bring on more pain...So i had a moment of hope and then for some weird reason i just crashed.  and crashed hard...and today, I just have to be done.  I cannot go on like this another day.

I got up when I felt like it, made a pot off coffee, will take Kody to the park, have a nice breakfast and ride my bike in.  I will let go of those in my past that it's time to let go of.  I won't read any sites that are none of my business or part of my life anymore becuase one just kills me and the other is just ridiculous.  I will have faith that my life will get better and I will renew that faith every single morning.

I will spend time with those in my life that i love and I will seek out new people that will enrich my life and experience, even though I don't want to.... Time to do all the things I knew I should be doing but chose to do bad shit instead...bye bye bad shit.  you stink anyway...


hahah...see?  feeling better already.  I went to starbucks and some a'hole parked in a spot and one ENTIRE tire (tiretire) was in the next spot i pulled in riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight next to their door.  i mean, after all if i parked to let them in, i'd be the asshole to the next spot.  so the chick came out and saw that she would not be able to get in her door and had to climb thru the passenger door. hahahah!!! yay me!

when i got to work i screamed when i saw Ali like his "costume" was totally scary.  hahah...he said he wanted to put me over his knee.  All these boys have RECENTLY gone to Sexual Harrassment training and they are all worse.  i love it.