My throat hurts...

...not the normal kinda hurt; but, more of like...a possible cancer kinda hurt. Because what else could it be?

Yesterday, I had an ocular migraine that REALLY took out my vision and for like 45 minutes. scared the shit out of me. Those usually last 5 to 20 minutes; but, never 45!!!

And now I just finished an article in the now-way-too-young Self magazine about a woman who has MS. I remember when I lived in Seattle/Vancouver in 2000 and "had" MS. I was terrified. (turns out it was really bad stress of moving to another city, giving up my state job, having Satan's daughter for a boss, losing my dog of 14 years and then losing my job)

There are certain kinds of diseases I will be okay with; however, none of them can EVER result in:

blindness
a wheelchair
or a hole in the throat

I think I'd rather be dead than have any of those above. And that's just me. Some people have the strength to survive certain adversity.

I barely have the strength to survive a pap smear.

And that's what's on my mind today....