Monday, October 31, 2005

LOVE the weekends...

Peng and I went out for margaritas Friday. We had 3..each. That's two more than Peng normally has so I was really turned on.

We went home, grabbed a bottle of wine & Kody and headed to the apartment complex by our work. They have a jacuzzi for us and a pool for Kody. Of course, we knew it woudldn't last very long...Kody Big Boy = Kody Big Splash. 15 splashes later, a man walked in and said in a whiny, but true, tone "come on guys...Basic 101: no dogs in the pool!"

I apologized and recognized our stupidity but defended it as well...It's WINTER!! Who uses the pool in winter?? I wanted to skim the top for a half hour but couldn't find the skimmer thing...

So we left. We hung out at the river with all the other lovers and bums and finished our wine.

Saturday was my volunteer day at The Animal Place. We had to round up about 75 chickens in to a small room so we could, one by one, grab them, trim their nails, powder their backs & butts for lice and spray their legs with solution stuff to kill the bugs under their skin.

It was exhausting and totally fun. They tried to teach me how to catch a chicken but it was too stressful for me. They literally scream their heads off and that was just too upsetting to me. So i went back out to powder butts. Much more fun.

Saturday night we saw my girlfriends play about Breast CAncer. It was SO serious!!! We had the giggles too, like you did when you were little in church? what up with taht!

Dena did a GREAT job...i'm getting a mammogram February 16th as soon as i turn 40.

Sunday is my day to drink. i got a late start though: 1:30. I cleaned my house for about 9 hours. (that's with a few breaks in between of playing games, shopping, dancing, cooking, loving, and tv too)

My house looks fucking awesome. If it could only stay that way...

Friday, October 28, 2005

Nothing Blog

I have nothing to say.

Just some drivel...Today I have heartburn. Yesterday I had heartburn. and the day before. I'm only 39 and i'm developing a hole in my esophegal sphincter. it's worse when you run. the more i run, the worse i eat, the more horrible the heartburn gets.

Peng wants a margarita after work and everytime i say 'margarita' in my head, the acids rumble.

but i'll go anyway, cuz i'm a good sport. and, hey! Maybe i won't have a margarita because it'll hurt - i'll try a white russian. it's only my favorite drink anyway.

tomorrow i get to do health checks at The Animal Place. Honestly, I'd do that every day of my life if someone never invented money...but, that don't pay the bills, honey!

habbanadaaaaah!!! or weekend i mean...

Thursday, October 27, 2005

October 27, 2005

Last night I enjoyed Kody 750% more than I normally do. I beat him so hard when i got home - out of pure joy, of course. Even though he yipes, he knows the beatings are out of love. It was such a tremendous scare; i never want to go there again - at least not for another 15 years. But now that nothing really serious is looming over my head, i can go back to complaining about how bad my life seems. *phew!*

So, I have to be at work at 7:00am. Now that winter is coming (can i get a "yay!!") it's still dark at that hour. It's quieter outside and even the meter light isn't awake yet. Traffic is sporadic, there is no line in Starbucks and, unfortunately, there is very little parking in my parking lot.

But why?

Why, in the summer when it's light at 7, is there more traffic? Why is there more parking in my parking lot? It's still 7, right? Are these peoples work hours based on the suns schedule? Because if that's the case, where do I apply?

aaaaaaaah,'s good to stress about the little things again...

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


My vet just called. The Radiologist came in early and he looked at Kody's X-ray and said "no way" to it being cancer.

ohmygod. you just don't know how relieved I am. I literally thought i would go insane if i lost that mutt.

How can one person love an animal so much? He's my little boy....i thank you, thank you, thank you!


I took Kody to the vet yesterday to have the big bump on his left paw looked at. And to get his butt glands squeezed.

I thought it would be a good day for him: pretty vet techs taking his x-rays, poking his booty, petting and cooing him...but not so. The x-rays revealed a suspicious mass that may need to be biopsied. The dr. said it could be an infected fracture of it could be cancer.

And cancer is all i heard...I took a loan against my home to prepare for our road ahead.

I just pray, pray, pray that i won't need it.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005



Monday, October 24, 2005

Chasers don't work...

...or I'm just allergic to alcohol. Sure, i had six beers and the first 3 were pints and last 3 twelve ouncers i drank in one hour but still...Chasers just don't work.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I'm so Carrie Bradshaw right now...

I come home after a night of sensible drinking, sit down on my computer to share the thoughts one can only come upon after spending the evening with a friend, and I think "Wow...I am so Carrie-ish right now.."

Except i can't smoke in my own house, my shoes are worn out sketcher boots, she lives in Manhattan - a life i can only wish i had chose, and i'm about 10, 15, 40 pounds heavier than her. And blogging makes me zero dollars.

But at least we're the same age.

We even ponder the complexities of relationships.

And even though we (Carrie and I) ponder the complexities of said relationships and even though tonight would have been a perfect Sex and the City episode: one about heartbreak, uncertainty, hope, laughter and cocktails, my blog will be about another peculiar relationship.

The one between me, peng and kody.

When Peng started staying the night, we had to work through the bed thing. Kody was used to being my bed partner and now we have a newbie - what do we do with him? He is the 3rd party, the last to join our hurrah so he really does get last place.

We start the implementation slowly and at first it's not looking so good *

But Peng eases Kody in to the new, hopeful arrangement *

Hey...not bad. Next, I slip in, non-chalantly as if nothing has changed and all is the same as it has been for the last 4 years with me and my bud...and Peng *

Aaah...yes...all is well.

Over the years, Kody has graciously bowed down to the "newbie" and now pretty much sleeps on the floor. Well, i use the term "graciously" rather lightly.

He lets us know he's still the boss in the mornings. As soon as he hears a mumble or a stir or a "Mornin'!" fart, he knows it's time to join the family...

But he doesn't just join - he jams!

If you think that picture is a fabrication of our mornings, you are mistaken. The louder the "OOoh God..." the bigger Kody seems to smile.

So it's been an adjustment period for all, but in the end, none of us have ever slept better...
Goodnight, my boy...thanks for keeping our home warm...

*illustrations by Fred Hillard from the book by Stephen Baker "How to Live with a Neurotic Dog" Permission to reprint not granted and thanks to me mum for the funny and fabulous book...

Stolen Blog from Tabitha

I don't have too much to say so these kinds of things are fun. Except last night we went to see The Birds and Tippi Hedren was there to grace us with an interview. I love her becuase she fights for animals. Everyone should...

So you google all this shit and then grab the FIRST pix and then your FAVORITE pix of the word you googled. okay?

Name of the town where you grew up - South Berwick, Maine

dining room of the house i grew up in. cool, huh?

Name of the town where you live now - Sacramento, California

Your name - Tanya ********
what the fu....?
what the fu....?

Your grandmother's name (either one you choose) - *****

Your favorite food - Chips & Salsa

Your favorite drink - White Russian / Soy Mocha

Your favorite song - anything from Ben Folds (currently)

Your favorite smell - Freshly ground coffee / farts

Now you know me more than you should.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


i had an interview today at 10:00 am. 15 minutes later i was done.

is this a good thing because i was either to the point or too lame.

No matter. I know I'm worthy. I'm worthy, I'm worthy, I am. No matter what our new boss says.

Monday, October 17, 2005

you know...

Fall is coming. It's my most favorite time of year. I'm lazy by nature so when it's raining outside, i don't feel guilty when i'm "forced" to lounge around the house, watching movies in front of the fire. Even Kody seems to acquiese. (woo! i smart!)

Sunday, Peng and i attempted to make some home-made Seitan. Zero success. We used a ton of ingredients too, all for naught. They came out kinda like Boca crumbles so i'm going to attempt to fry that shit up and see if they at least taste good.

I also decided to "jerky" some tofu so last night when i got home like super late (8:45) i decided to line the tray of the dehydrator i had bought at our local thrift store. Every time i'd go to the thrift store (twice in the last twelve months) that thing was there. So when i decided i'd try raw foods, i thought i'd check to see if that poor dehydrator ever found a home.

It didn't. I bought it. And I never washed the thing.

So as i lay in bed i thought about how long that thing had been there with all the people walking by, putting their booger-crusted hands all over it, the dirty farty air that probably had settled on it's surface and i threw out the tofu. I still have some tofu left so i'll wash it and try it again.

This is coming from someone who'll pretty much eat anything off a floor. I'm quirky like that. I even had to re-wash sheets i hung outside to dry becuase i saw flies landing on them. I could picture their dried goop peppering the area that would probably land in my mouth while i was sleeping.

Ah...yes, fall is in the air....shoulda kept it at that...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

so...remember today?

when i said i was fucking depressed for being at work? well, peng and i went to a spiritual center and the message waaaaaaaaaaaaaaas....taadaaaa!!!! Do what you love! Don't chase money! In that you'll only find misery! i wasn't sure if i should laugh or cry. I am so sick of hearing the same frickin' message that i've heard for the last 24 years!! okay, before i appear seriously thick, i understand message=message and do something about it; but, hey...what about my retirement?

One thing i did hear loud & clear; money is not that important if you're attached to it. So I love it! i want it so bad that I'm depressed near every day and have been for over 25 years wanting it. Now don't get me wrong; i still believe money buys happiness but what if i'm not gettin' any? Guess what the next 25 years hold?

so, do i sell my home and move to tennessee to work on the elephant sanctuary? Or become president of Peta after Ingrid retires? What if that's not quite it? Will i still have my dream of buying a Pacifica outright with no 60 month payment plan? Will I miss partying in the big city living vicariously through my own still-has-hope buzz? If you think about it, you can do whatever the hell you want! I can quit my job tomorrow and work at *gasp* starbucks (sorry, Tabs)...I can sell my house and find some property near Tahoe and open my dog kennel for those that are skiing for the day/weekend.

But, alas, my mind drifts back to money...and a loft in Manhattan or over looking the bay in SF. Or starbucks EVERYDAY instead of 2 to 3 days a week becuase they're too expensive (damn Starbucks and their druggy coffee).

I'm in a pickle.

So i thought "i'll call Fox and give them my new idea of a reality series and we'll call it 'Can Money Buy Happiness?' and, of course, i'll be the star"...problem is, i'll prove it can and then everyone ELSE will be depressed.

But i'll be rich, rich, RICH and it won't matter...hahaHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (i'm maniacal again)

don't hate me because i'm shallow...i try.

i really do. I bi-polar...?

...or do i just hate my fucking job so much, i get super-depressed every minute I'm here?

Well I had 4 days off and that is both wonderful and dreadful. Wonderful becuase i get to enjoy the manic side (and i do so fully) and dreadful becuase the depressed side sets in heavily for the remaining 3 days i'm here.

I had a bad dream this morning too that I let Kody and my old dog (weird how i still dream abuot him even though he's been gone for 5 years) took off in my Explorer. Bear missed the turn I told him to take and hit a curb. The truck went up in flames. My worry was "how am i going to come up with a down payment for a new car?!?"

Later on in my dream I was thinking "Shit! Maybe they are still alive" so I did the super-slow run down this freeway and up this very steep hill. I didn't see my truck but saw a dog crate. I slowly walked up to it and around to peer inside and Bear was sleeping. But when he saw me, his ears went back and he wagged his tail. I was so upset with myself for not even thinking of saving them. I asked, out loud, where Kody was and this guy told me i had to call 911 becuase Kody had been badly burned.

When i awoke this morning, Kody was full-on on his back, exposing his 'glory' to his mum. I moved a little bit, he growled at me...i was glad to be back.

Monday, October 10, 2005

What a @%#*% weekend...

Friday - Oktoberfest

Okay. Where do i begin? First off - the liver thing? Do it. I felt pretty dern good even after drinking 87 beers. And I even lost a few pounds! The draggy part is you cannot eat for 3 hours before you go party and then not again until the next day. I was starving.

So Peng and I actually discuss not going to the Oktoberfest. We had a big weekend planned and, as we all know, I can't function when i'm hungover. How frickin' sad is that? We have to plan our weekends around my hangover time! Anyway, we decide we'll go for a couple of hours and that's it. I warn him if anyone shows up, he should know a 'couple' means 'five'.

We park and get out. Another couple behind us does the same. I look at a 'For Sale' sign and the boy part of the couple behind us makes a comment. A few courtesy laughs are exchanged and then we wind up in line together. Dave and Sonya. Dave is a light-hearted, goofy and funny guy. You can tell that right from the start. Sonya is elegant, personable and obviously quite tolerant. (This will become more apparant as the night moves on.) After we talk for a few minutes, they both invite us to sit at their table, much to my delight! I hate when we have to party alone.

Our first view of the party is Cal. An asian german? Not quite sure on this one but he was great, no less. AND he plays the Accordian!!

Oh, this is gonna be fun...

We find Sonya and Dave and sit down to discover they have 16 people coming! This is great since we invited about 87 and only got 2 strong "maybe's". But here's to our new friends!!
The first to arrive is Leslie. She's a breezy, sweet, and a welcoming person...she exudes friendliness. I love her instantly. In fact, both Sonya and Leslie were similar in the arena of comfortableness. I was becoming more and more greatful that i met these people. Both graciously included us in all their conversations, which is really nice seeings how we are the new people. Next up is Alison. Oh what a joy she is! and she loved me so who can't love that? Plus, anyone who has the 'balls' to wear the shirt she wore, is all right in my book...

Peng is chatting with Dave while I find my niche with the new girls...however, it IS time for a beer. I grab Peng and we head to the line to grab some Spaten. But not before i capture more beauty from this evening...

and, of course, my favorite couple:

With our pitcher in hand, the evening now begins to flow comfortably. Janice is the next to arrive. She friggin looks like Tara Reid! It was really amazing.

She brought her adorable son, Brian (not pictured). I thought he would be her DD but he's only 11. If he were my son, he'd still be the DD regardless. If only I could teach Kody to drive..Course, he's only 4.

The whole group is now here:

The beer is flowing, Dave and I are getting louder, and then FINALLY, my two friends arrive, thankyouverymuchiamNOTaloser! Kelly and Jeff:

(i love that artsy. It was taken later in the evening though) I warn Dave that they are WAAAAY more conservative than even Dubya; but, he prepares to mess with them anyway. Turns out, no one really needed to loosen these two up; they were ready. Dave tells Jeff as soon as he sits that he must follow the German tradition of "Shnipple" and down his first beer. He does so with barely any prodding...Kelly and i's friendship, by the way, is older than dirt. We've changed over the years...well she's changed, i'm the same as i was when i met her 15 years ago; but, every once in a while, she can revert back to the days.

Oh yeah! We're here for the German Traditions - beer makes me forget stuff like that. Peng and i head off to Polka. CRAP! Note to self: going around in circles after 3 beers can make you very dizzy! Another note to self: German music never ends. I had to cut our dance short. a.) i was dizzy and b.) my beer was getting lonely. But back at our home base, we get to watch some tradition german dancing...

It really is cool here. If i open mind just enough, i feel like I'm actually in Germany. Next year: GO to germany for oktoberfest.

Li'l bits: we take pix. An older woman walks by me and pokes my belly because...well, it's there!

Dave and I chat about writing books. Outside, as we smoke, a german woman, who Dave and I insulted earlier BY MISTAKE becuase we both have big mouths, came by and they each spoke fluent german to each other - how friggin' cool is that? Jeff asks if i want more beer, i say 'no i'm only having water', take sip of water and then say 'okay'. Peng chases the St. Pauli girl around to try and get a key ring. she's rude. we hate her becuase a.) she's rude and b.) she's a size 0.

The evening is wearing on. Dave and I are rescuing abandoned pitchers and making them feel at home in our bellies. Sonya is the DD and I think us drunkards are wearing her thin. I owe her a pack of smokes. The younger of their crowd come out to join the smoking crowd and they, somehow, don't find me too entertaining. one of them said something that hurt my feelings so i knew it was nearing the time to go home.

I grab Peng and we head upstairs to nurse our last beer. We talk about the evening and about the new people we've met, the conversations we had, etc. The lights now seem brighter, the music is dying down, less people are milling about and the beer just doesn't taste as sweet as it did 4 hours ago.

If Germany is at all like this; sign me up...

Saturday - Blue Angels

So, okay, i'm not quite up for our Mt. Tallac hike after last nights festivities; but, i can tolerate a 75 minute trip to SF.

Starbucks first, please.

We argue about what a shitty navigator I am instead of focusing on how anal Peng is about knowing exactly where he is and where he needs to go. We're in a friggin block city! you go straight forever and then go right forever. eventually you get to the bay. We park near a park (hmm...) and unload the Kodster-au-matic. The walk is so beautiful to the bay. I always get this feeling of wanting to be wealthy whenever i'm there. Who should NOT experience life in the city? At least for a year or so.

We get to the bay, we're hungry, we're craving a beer (shut up) and there are no vendors to be seen. What a drag. Anyway, the two highlights of this day is the lovely Asian man i met who lived in two vans with his 5 dogs and the massive spraying everyone got from the ocean. The asian guy looked like he was right out of "Weeping Camel". He fed Kody treats and introduced me to his boy, Bear. (which was my old dogs name, by the way) He was so pleasant and had a jolly laugh and a smile that lit up his face! he was a bit hard to understand so i won't lie and say the conversation made me ponder anything - in fact, i really was done after about 30 minutes with this charming man. a dichotemy i know but only i know what goes on in my head.

But the funniest part was people (including me and Peng) sitting on the edge of the bay on those cement barriers. Every 15 minuets or so a wave would crash below and spray us all; but, just a tiny bit. it was only later when we realized the tide was moving in ane the "little bit" became buckets of water. By then, we had moved away to just enjoy the show. Some people were soaked, some got slammed in the face...the joy to be had by all!

The Blue Angels were 45 minutes late so that sucked. It was only kinda cool
. Even when they head for each other it wasn't all that spectacular (pix not of the actual day - they were pretty far off. Made me wonder if they were at the Oktoberfest the night before...)

so that was that. We left and i slept so hard, i dont' even think i moved.

Sunday - Mt. Tallac

We got up early enough and headed to Starbucks for our morning fix. We decided we'd head up I-80 so we could go to my most favoritest restaurant, The Donner Kitchen, to have the famous Huevos Rancheros! Mmm...our hike was up hwy 50 but we decided we'd cut over 89 to 50. Poor Kody. He was in the car for 2 hours. You shoulda seen him when we let him out for our hike! A whole bottle of energy poured out right before our eyes. He had to wear his boots too and THANK GOD becuase we accidentally made this a 7 hour hike!

It's a very rocky hike too. and mostly up hill. ugh.

We were supposed to have a 3:00 turn around time but at 3:00 we were at the base of Tallac and it would be such a shame to honor our rule. Plus i hate rules. Here is the base of the mountain:

So, even though i bitched the whole way up (i'm no fun to hike with) i thought "what's 30 more minutes of my bitching?" and off we went.
But we get to the top and here is the view:

here is the other side: you get a 360 up here - very cool~~

Now, on the way back, i take, what i think is, a simple way back. Umm...not so! It was a knee breaking, spirit crushing (yet oddly enriching) experience. I took off Kody's front shoes as they ripped and weren't fitting well, and also becuase i thought we only had about an hour left. Not so, again. we had to climb straight down this mountain, walk through manzanita bushes (Peng wearily called "Mountain hair" because he couldn't think of the word ..uuuh...bush), and scale a craggy, rocky cliff. I could care less; it was Kody i was worried about. He's so bonsai he just ran like he didn't care. Becuase he's dumb. I forget that sometimes. And i'm his mother so i'm responsible for his well-being which is what i thought about while he carelessly ran towards the edge of the cliff, eyeing the only thing he cares about; Water.

I'm almost in tears here. I'm not sure we went the right way (turns out we did; Peng was right - Mr. Direction Man) and, again, my concern is simply Kody's safety. FINALLY, we reach civilization. Do you know how good it is to see a parking lot full of cars? It's good. Now, instead of worrying that we have no tent, fire, warm clothes and only 1/8th of a cup of sunflower seeds to keep us alive, our worse case scenario is we rent a cabin.

Peng runs to get the truck and of course, Benedict Arnold (aka Kody) follows him. The bastard never even looks back to see if I'm coming. He did this on the whole hike too. Total opposite of my Bearie. Hmph...see if i worry about his ass again.

Alas, i see my dirty, dinged, windshield-cracked beauty crest the hill and we're off for a well-deserved beer and a veggie burger.

Life has been good so far...

Friday, October 07, 2005


So tonight is the Oktoberfest and I really don't want to get drunk; but, i have this gene that says otherwise. So to prepare my liver for this evening, I am drinking half my weight in water (50 ounces...ahem), taking my liver vitamins (milk thistle, dandelian root and artichoke) and before i go out i will arm my body with Bcomplex.

Unfortunately, my brain will have to suffer. there just are no vitamins for that only crossword puzzles to help rebuild new cells. And worse? My chinese horoscope says "do not over-indulge in sex or alcohol". many things to be said here.

but it also said my boss will recognize my talents and promote me. Looks like they're off this year.

Tomorrow or Sunday, Peng and I are takgin the ferry to angel island in San Fran to watch the Blue Angels perform. Yesterday i saw them practice and i almost crashed 42 times trying to watch them and the road. but so was everyone else...

sunday or monday, we're going to tahoe to leaf peep. Mt. Tallac is full of birch trees and those are the only trees, practically on the west coast that change colors; but they are spectacular when they do.

Oooor, i'll be on my couch all weekend, hungover.

Someday i'll write a book and call it "my un-spectacular life".

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Audition!!!

That's right! I'm submitting my photos...I think we have a pretty good chance of winning. Your thoughts?

(no reporting me'll be hard pressed to prove that Kody didn't enjoy this a bit...)

Sunday, October 02, 2005 is my kitchen!

Well, it's no Trading Spaces but for $127 it ain't bad. Eventually, when i save enough cash, i'll get new floors, plantation blinds and new lighting. but, for now - it's all gooood. Here are what plantation blinds look like, by the way:

here is my kitchen before: (i had already painted the walls white before i realized i didn't have a BEFORE pix - so picture the walls the same ugly cream)

and after:


and after:


and after:

This was also very complicated to put all the handles (which require drilling two holes to MATCH each hole in the handle) for 7 drawers, adding on 22 knobs to all the cabinet doors so it just seemed like such a MAJOR project with only a bit of a difference.