i got a new attitude!!! - just for today

I'm doing whatever the hell i want today. except starting my hcg diet again. i DON'T want to do that but alas, i must....

then I'm giong to try out for a roller derby team on July 18th, like my blogging buddy Tabitha. i'll be the Tanyanator and i'm gonna kick some fucking ass, rules right or not. i don't care cuz i'm angry.

: )

i came home for lunch to walk kody becuase that's what i felt like doing today. and i'm making some green iced tea becuase that's what i feel like drinking. i'd like to wear shorts back to work becuase that's what i feel like wearing but i don't want to scare people. hey wait! i'm super-tan! I forgot! hahahah....

i'll just roll up my jeans. i'm still shy about my body so i wno't be showing it yet...course i sure as shit did in ST. Maarten but i was NOT alone in should-be-shyness.

beer

Why is the hardest lesson for me to learn is you cannot find happiness outside yourself?

it won't be in a man, it won't be in Kody, it won't be in the perfect job or a fine bottle of vodka. it won't be in a size 4 or running a dog sanctuary....it can only come from within.

and what do you DO when you hate within? WHAT the fuck do you do?

(really rhetorical - i've heard a million answers, a million suggestions and even came up with a few on my own...)