Friday, March 30, 2007

Victoria Blech-am

I personally think this chick is ugly. (My boyfriend differs and this is confusing because i have to assume he DOES know beauty...)

Michelle and I just couldn't figure out WHO she reminds us of...

til we did some research and


Tuesday, March 27, 2007

DMV - a.k.a. Dumb Mutha Vuckas

Remember when i got rid of my BEAUTIFUL Pacifica and bought this?

That was back in October. I have yet to receive the license plates for this car and it has been, if I'm a good counter, 5 months.

Now, back in October (the 19th to be exact) I brought in the Washington title, signed off by the good owners and paid the exhorbitant fees required to live and drive in the state of California. At that time, I was to have the car inspected; but, I was on my bicycle and couldn't. I had the car inspected one month later and sent in the "ok'd" inspection report. Approximately a week later, I get a letter back from DMV stating to bring back all the info I originally brought in on 10/19/06.


I go through my files and find all the documentation that were in my hands that infamous day and it weren't much...the smog cert, an incomplete title application just in case i needed it and that's about it. I call them. "what could you possibly want?"

They want the title.

"But I gave you the title on 10/19/06."

well they don't have it.

"Well, I don't have it either and since I was on my bike, I'm sure I'da remembered you giving me the rather large, colorful title back becuase I probably would have said 'Why are you giving ME the title? Don't YOU need it?' See my point?"

They're sort of sorry, again.

"what am i supposed to do?"

I have to apply for a duplicate title from the State of Washington which would require the signatures of the original owners.

"but what if i can't find them?"

Too bad...DMV needs the title.

"What if they died?" can do nothing without the title.

I'll spare you the other in between arguments with DMV as each story from each different rep (which was many) was different. But I can tell you Thursday, I cried big, fat, crocodile tears...over lots of things: my brothers, this job, diets, life and the fact that I just spent $6,000 on a car i'm going to have to throw away in August because i CANNOT REGISTER THE CAR IN CALIFORNIA!

But, you think they've got me? Ooooh nooo....I "found" the title. And it will work; do you know why? because they are a bunch of dumb mutha vuckas.....

Monday, March 26, 2007


I've been in Northern California since 1984 and I've yet to visit Alcatraz.

Until now.

Kevin and I got up early (no easy feat since i had a little too much fun the night before) and got our daily Starbucks and headed in to the city. We found the most awesomest parking and headed over to Hornblower to wait for my cousins:
here's our boat:

FINALLY, my cousins arrived, which was relieving because I was afraid we'd miss the boat. And i most certainly would have cried like a little girl because there were no more tickets available...
It was a big group too. Me, Mira, her twins, Helena, Dave, his 3 boys and a german exchange student who was just a lovely girl.

I have not seen my cousin, Helena (on the right) since i was 16 years old~!

The trip was really cool. When you're slightly hungover, there ain't nothin' like a cold & windy boat ride. It was only 15 minutes or so til we got to the island. I felt like a little girl getting all excited about what's to come. i'm very immature.

The rest of the pictures are of the day. of course, my batteries died and i didn't bring extras so there aren't too many but please enjoy what i done did get...

view of golden gate from boat

view of city from boat

and view of alcatraz from boat

Once we got on the island, we decided we would watch the 15 minute film that explains the history of Alcatraz. there were actual families that lived on this island. The children had to ride a boat to and from the island to the main land to attend school.

After the movie, we received a recording device that would walk us through the tour. it was REALLY cool because you could pause it and walk around other areas if you felt like it. Kevin was offended because the "inmates" were whistling at him as we walked down the corrider to our next tourist spot. at one point you could hear the dramatization of a man stabbing another. and an actual inmate talking about the sound of "snap" and "swish"of the blade as it entered another's back...they had actual Alcatraz inmates talking on the recording which is just way cool.
crumbled dining hall on island

one of many tiny, tiny cells

This is the infamous cell of one of the Anglin brothers that spent a YEAR digging the vent hole out big enough for them to escape. the head you can barely see on the cot is the actual head they made to give them more time to escape.

Outside was really pretty...the stairs were steep and scary but we managed.

this one is of the rec yard...not very large; but, some of the inmates did mention how torturous it was to be able to see San Francisco only a mile away. and at times they could hear partying, laughing and the sounds of a busy city when the wind would blow their way.

me on the rec yard stairs

This is a really cool view on the west side. you can't tell how steep it is but it was...look how tiny the boat is:

well after all that, it was most definitely time for beer. YAY!!

and just's my baby looking absolutely adorable:

Here's that same adorable Kody smelling my friends shit breath:

see that look in his eyes? I've seen that look before...

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Who's particular?

For those of you in the know (i.e. “Are You My Mother” readers), you may recall my posts regarding a certain co-worker who shall remain nameless (KATHI*) that takes great pleasure in issuing me daily fashion citations. (As Kathi's punishment, i shall post the infamous eye-closed picture of her)

So what if i'm not perfect? So what if I choose to wear black shoes, black pants and blue trouser socks?

Am I hurting people? Besides their eyes, i mean?


But what DOES hurt, is a woman who dresses as though she were a stateswoman and not a state employee.

case in point: who the FUCK wears HALF SOCKS???

I didn't even know they MADE half socks. I thought maybe she cut a pair of normal ones (something I, as a walking fashion faux pas, would do); but, nooooo....someone actually MAKES half socks for Mule shoes...

Well, can take your half socks and your mule shoes and run away like a little girl, because I have these new, hot specs...(which she approved of)

you likey? (it's important to lie if you don't...these were expensive)

*I should mention she reads my blog, so, i know you all want to rip her another asshole for being so mean to me :) but don't. HI KATHI!

Monday, March 19, 2007

The Weekend #3

It was a pretty good weekend. Being st. patty's day and all. i partied until my toe blistered.

so much for not drinking and losing weight. but one day of bad behavior (okay...two) is not that bad.

and sunday i got right back on the weight watcher ball and bought one of these:

I'll put those to good use, right away. right now they're keeping down the pad on my dad's rocking chair.

I also completed another grand puzzle. not this weekend; but, it is most certainly worth posting: :) (i almost went insane doing this one)

So after our shuffle board, pool & darts, Saturday night we went and had pizza. I told my friend in honor of my diet i would only have one piece. As i began reaching for my 3rd, she slammed her fork down in front of my hungry hand and that was that.

okay! two pieces was good enough for me...

My brother built me a garden gate to keep Kody out. Of course he's already jumped it once; but, i'm going to hope the smell of vegetables will keep him out in the future.

*warning* the following images are BEFORE pictures (minus the fence). i will post pictures of AFTER next weekend when all my gorgeous plants are in.

we used the old wood from the part of the gate i tore off to keep it consistent. i'll paint it and put on pretty shit so it looks nice. like flowers and such. love the gate, don't you?

kody loves the plants...he's eagerly awaiting for the time AFTER i lovingly and patiently put them all gently in to the ground so he can rip through them like a tornado.


Wednesday, March 14, 2007

me, me, and some more about me...

...but it is MY blog. : )

I have some good things going on in my life so you might not recognize me. Gone are the days where i bitch and complain how bad my life is...(okay, so this blog may be gay & boring from here on out) with the new me. I will be grateful and happy every single day. Because i HAVE to. the old Tanya had shitty luck. I could be in a group of 10 people, we each buy a scratcher and everyone would win 10grand or more but me.

OR i could go in and among 5,000 good working appliances, buy the one that's broken. and then I'd get shit from the store about bringing it back.

SO, I'm changing my attitude because i think it's that that attracts more like. i think negative, i get negative.

So today, i am beautiful & healthy. and that ice cream appliance i bought that didn't make shit? made a perfect bowl of ice cream* this morning...HUH???? see? It works!

and i've lost 10 pounds and only have 7 to go to win and 17 to go to be amazing. I LOVE LIFE!!

(no eye-rolling please)

*i'm still on my diet...the ice cream is sugar-free!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I LOVE Tahoe...

...and when i DO finally win, that is where i'll move.

we got there saturday morning and did a 2.5 hour snow shoe. this is what one looks like on a low-carb diet trying to do the most strenuous of exercises...
(can you see me? I'm resting full out!)

but I trudge and the lonely tree...

but THIS was the bitch. it may not look steep but, trust was. and it hurt my heart and lungs to make it to the top but i had to or i would roll down.

The view was incredible...

FINALLY, after a larabar and a gallon of water later, we check into our hotel room. now THAT'S what i call fun! we went down to the hot tub, hung out like celebrities, took naps, gambled, ate and then crashed again.

and there just ain't views when you're snowshoeing...there's views from our room!

the only bummer part about the hotel was my pillow was huge. I kept waking up becuase it's quite difficult to sleep wth your chin on your chest. I, for one, love pancake pillows.

see? you don't need* to win the lottery to have rich experiences.

*You do, however, need to win to stay. which is my whole bitch.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Mega Millions!!!

it's not that i didn't win the lottery and realize i have to go back to work today and every fucking day for the rest of my life that bothers's that i didn't win the lottery and have to go to work today. and probably every fucking day for the rest of my life!


...i guess that IS it.

Monday, March 05, 2007

this will be embarrassing...

...and boring. and slightly self-important becuase i really have nothing; but, i'm assuming everyone is just waiting - WAITING with baited (baded? bated?) breath for me to post.

ah, well....

i did nothing this weekend worth mentioning except finished a super hard jigsaw puzzle. sober. always a drag. watched x-files til my eyes bled. i was able to drag my sorry ass out for an hour walk and that was strictly for kodys sake.

to my defense, i was sick. BUT i lost 2 more pounds and i'm 8 pounds away until NAPA VICTORY! Unfortunately, my opponent suffered a depressing setback in her personal life and bad news is usually great for weight loss...damn it!

i'll honor suggestions of sending her cookies, pizza, chinese food, etc....oh / AND hope her situation resolves : )

see? told you it was lame.