Friday, February 29, 2008

One loop left...

Kody has, somehow, managed to rip his stitches on his eye without hurting his eye. He's amazing.

I love this ad:

I would really like the database of names of the people that buy this product because i could have some fun....

Thursday, February 28, 2008

I'm spoiled...

Look what I bought myself today.

I'm normally cheap but I paid the extra $4 to get it in 3 days. This is for Kody's blog that I've decided to rekindle and make that f****er earn me some money! So tell all your friends; there's a new blog in town. (and to click on the ads)

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Nothing won... I just hate the California Lottery.
it's my 2nd to last day before i have to go to work so of cousre i want to party but i'm trying so hard not to.

Today might not be a good day to start my beer puzzle then...

Saturday, February 23, 2008

A new day...

thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those that read my blog and really shared their feelings. and thank you to those that read my blog and email me only and yet still shared their thoughts and condolences.

On with life because life is for the living...this is a horrible segue; but, I love to gamble. I love to buy scratchers and today I decided I'm going to find a bunch of lucky spots and where ever my ticket wins in, that's where i'll nest.

My first choice was under my new cleopatra 24 points of happiness wheel that Debby bought me for my birthday after reading my bad-luck blog. she thought it'd change my path and so far, minus my mother dying which was happening beFORE i got the wheel, it has.

My next spot was under the picture of my dad (RIP) becuase he was a sweet, sweet and incredibly lucky man. he's the person that wins at everything he plays and he's always surprised, never gloats or rubs it in peoples face, like his daughter..hmmm....

My next choice was under the pix on the box of Bears ashes. Because I loved him so much.

and speaking of dogs....the Budda dog Kevin bought me...seemed like a good place.

and then the most obvious place, my money tree:

I'll let you know later which ones won. Will i hate dad and bear if i lose? Let's hope not.

Kody's surgery went very well yesterday. i was there the second he came to because it was very weird without him all day. The tech said he wanted OUT as soon as he opened his eyes and howled to let everyone know...that's my boy!

He came out in those hideous collars and I instantly felt bad and laughed. what can you do? last night was a nightmare with him wanting to be on the bed with a cone the size of a compact car and being groggy from anesthesia but we made it. I wanted to take off the cone but they stitched his eye downard and looped the string back up and tied it so that loop could easily get caught in his nail, a branch, my no frickin' way was i going to chance that.

But what actaully was the worst is he couldn't eat all day. When i brought him home, in his sleepy state, he walked right to his bowl and tried to look back at me but i assume all he saw was white plastic.

i'm a bad mom becuase i gave him two cookies, quarter cup of food and some bites of my sandwich. what the hell...?

Here's kody (aka Koney) when i brought him home...eyes droopy, panty, sad looking....

Here he is after a couple of snacks...i'm instantly rewarded and it's all about me.

and here's me as a bad, indulgent mother with his cone off BUT me watching him like a hawk.

(see cone in's there to remind him if he misbehaves it goes right back on!)

Things are settling down...we have a BIG storm coming in and i love the meantime, i'm watching game show network.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Goodbye, Mother...

February 20th, 2008.

That's the day my mom died. Why am I blogging when instead I should be doing other things? Becuase I don't know what to do....

I'm numb, in shock, goofy, weepy, starey,'s just a weird day. What i think i'll do is just type random thoughts for all the world to see because all the world reads my blog...(kidding)
My mom and i were never close. i was like stewie coming out of the womb; trying to find ways to kill my mother but unlike lois my mom was not a very loving mother. oh she was loving; but, there were strings attached. No not strings; ropes.

all my life i remember rebelling against her. i did drugs, i drank, i ran away, i had random relationships, i hated. i was the 6th of 6 children until we adopted Travis when i was 16. travis was another being in which my mom, i'm sure, hoped would be 'the one'. she wanted love so desperately - she was brilliant, manipulative, cutting, sharp, resourceful, angry, lost, etc....and all of her pain she transferred to her children. oh the story is so friggin deep i don't think could handle all the words and frankly neither can i.

when i got the call that she died, a shock went through my body but i didnt cry. in fact, i cried more when i couldn't fix my computer than when i heard my mother passed away. maybe i just can't love. or maybe i can only love an entity that i know cannot betray me like Bear; my dog i lost in 2000 to where i cried so hard i got black eyes.

i tried to talk to her today like maybe she's just hanging around (pergatory? unfinished business?) but i didn't know what to say. all i could say was i should have loved you, but couldn't. I should miss you, but don't. I should cry, but can't.

what i do feel is weird, a little lost, a little brilliant, a little cutting, a little manipulative just like my mom...ugh. Maybe i don't miss my mom becuase i'm part of her. the part i don't like...maybe i should write a book titled "what to do when you never loved your mother"...I feel bad.

I'm sorry Mom...I'm sorry i was an awful child and an even awfuller teen. I'm sorry i didn't need you anymore when i left home and i'm sorry i was never there for you like you needed me to be...but i wasn't taught how.

I hope you're in peace whoever and where ever you are now...and when you find time, give Bear a hug for me.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Birthday and bits

I did pretty much what i wanted to do on my birthday (drink): and then we went to our local bar around 2:30 and had a few more drinks, came home and played 28 games which included Cranium, Pictionary, Scattegories, Scene-It...yes...i'm a game player and i love it.

No lottery though...i thought that would have been an EXCELLENT news story: girl wins lottery on the day of her birthday! Shares with her friends, moves to san francisco, dog is finally happy! but, no....

Back to reality: Janet gave me gorgeous earrings because (long story) she bought me some earrings once, was supposed to give them to me but ended up wearing them. I saw them on her and was like "oh my GOD those are gorgeous!" -she fessed up that they WERE mine...and she wears those fuckers all the time and every time she wears them she gets a harsh comment from me. but now all is well because i got THREE new beautiful earrings out of that deal...

here's Kody's cream of wheat on his eye..everyone is amazed i even spotted it but I am an obsessive mother:

They're going to cut it out Friday and the vet told me they'll take a pie-shaped chunk out of his eyelid but i'm going to request that they make it more moon shaped so i don't have to look at a freak. that'll creep my ass out.

Friday, February 15, 2008

a Tidbit Blog

Maybe i'll just blog about tidbitty stuff. Most people have ADD anyway and prefer small, inconsequential stories that enhance their life slightly. (I'm so important)

Yesterday, I had a frenzy lotto scratching day and won like $5. Course I cashed THAT in and came home with nothing. : ( The money Gods really hate me; but, as the Secret tells me I must say that I love money and money loves me. I am wealthy, I am rich and money comes easy to me.

such bullshit but i always have hope.

Kody has a little cream of wheat on his eye rim lid area. As a neurotic mother, he has an appt at 3:40. If it's cancer, we must nip it in the bud asap if Kody is going to live to 28.

Today is Friday and it's our 3 day weekend (and even for our friends in Canada!). Kevin is taking me to b'fast for my birthday tomorrow morning, even though we're broken up :) and then i'll probably start my birthday imbibing around noon. Like i do every saturday. But this time i'll be joined by other imbibers which should be fun and over by 10. i'm old now...i like to crawl in to bed just as the sun goes down. but i'll stretch it out a little for my birthday.

my birthday promise and wish is to be a more interesting blogger...and to win the lottery.

Monday, February 11, 2008


I have absolutely nothing to report; but, I'll blog about nothing and then i'll feel better.

I'm almost 85% after that horrendous flu. I was able to party this past weekend and that's really what matters, right? Janet and I played Cranium Friday night - just us. Not easy. Especially since Janet cannot play for shit. I told her this coming weekend (party at my house!) she canNOT be my partner. When I play games, i have to win or everyone will hurt. Usually when i pull out a game every rolls their eyes and says "I'm on her team" just to spare themselves the ridicule and pain they'll go through if i'm losing. But it's my birthday Saturday and I'm sure everyone will let me win anyway. RIGHT?? Right.

We have tomorrow off from work for some president day. So today will be slow & quiet since most smart people took the day off. I would have but i've been off so much from being sick and my mom, etc., that i had to come in. But it was really hard leaving kody who was curled up on my bed, looking all warm & fuzzy...

I watched a marathon of forensic files yesterday. man, i love that shit. course i double locked all my doors and locked kody's dog door...but it's always worth it. I also made Dreena's Morrocan Chickpea patties yesterday....i didn't fry them up yet...i'll do that tnoight.

whoa...what a stimulating post! Happy Presidents Day!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

I'm going to rename my blog... supernova negatova blog. This is no curse; this is my life.

I'm JUST getting over the worst flu i've ever had in my life. I went to the dr. last thursday becuase my back has been hurting ever since the accident. She said "i see you have a cough" and yes it started that very morning. She asked if i wanted a flu shot but i dont' believe in those. Especially not at such a young ripe age such as myself.

by 2:00 i was coughing ebola-epidemic level. I know i was irritating people at work to the max because I HATE it when people cough. I know they can't help it; but, thanks to things passed down by my mom, constant repetitive noises make me homicidal.

I went home and laid on the couch til bed time. the next day I called in sick and stayed in bed til 4:00 and all i could do was whimper. My skin hurt so bad that when i moved my leg, which i do alot of, it hurt against the sheets. my abs are a gorgeous six-pack from coughing. i took a shower to try to feel normal and the spray hurt my skin. it really was just awful. Janet came over and cleaned my house, brought me fire logs, soup, cough syrup, ibuprofen, folded my laundry...that was really nice. it was nice to hear someone toodling around my house while i was sick. And Kevin came by later to stay at my house so i felt safe and walked Kody in the morning since he has not been able to get out. That was nice to have people around becuase earlier i was so scared, i started to cry. I'm really never sick, minus the 4 million hangovers, so when this hit I got scared.

today is sunday, SUPER BOWL Sunday, and i've only barfed 3 times so i'm doing much better. and now, the good friend that i am, i gave this baby to Michelle.

And you can tell i'm still not 100% because someone who's a 100% probably wouldn't take their dog to the park after last nights torrential downpour:

p.s. Mira, I started an email to you but got busy and then got sick...i'll send you an email monday.