Peanut Butter

I don't even eat this much peanut butter when i'm OFF the diet! not sure what it is about this diet that makes me crave PB but i always give in. I'm weak that way. I still lost becuase i didn't eat lunch. I'm actually starting to not like eating. *GASP!* it's such a pain in the ass and i never do it right and then i live in shame. it's easier to not eat. When i'm done this diet i'm going to try to go vegan and raw. which will force me to prepare meals which is what i'm afraid i'm going to lose desire for...

I went to napa yesterday for work. It was very easy to be a positive on such a great day. I took my real estate renewal license exam and passed. THAT is a load off my mind. now i have a whole 4 more years to worry about it again. by then i'll be more than wealthy and will have my broker's license and a few agents under me ; )

gonna ride in today becuase i want to. g'day!

ohmyGOD! i'm up almost two pounds!!! WTF! now that is very disheartening. maybe my body is in shock without it's spider venom. whatever...god...that really sucks. i think i might be taking too much HCG so i'm going to measure more carefully. i am definitely not over eating. maybe i'm not eating enough? maybe my body's immune to hcg. i'm just going to bring on an eating disorder. who cares?

French Press

Thismornings coffee was made courtesy of my French Press and it is mighty good.

My brother and I wrapped my mattress yesterday. that was way more work than i thought. i considered buying a new mattress but that may NOT be it and i will have just spent $600 bucks for nothing. I'm going to clean my bedroom AGAIN and then set up my air mattress. goodbye sleep...it was nice knowing you.

Kody has a bacterial infection near his penile area and he pretends he doesn't like the attention down there but i know different. hahahah....his eyes halfway close, he lays still...pervert. it's pretty bad though. he's had it for a while and i just never really treated it. becuase it takes several applications a day and i'm lazy. i barely take my own medicine.

I think it's going to rain today. yay!

still in the 160's

Weird, Funky, Yuk Week

I probably slept on and off for only 2 hours last night. The problem started in my bed which is housing some hungry-ass spiders and has been for the last 2 / 3 months? I cannot find them; i cannot kill them and every other night I 'feed' them. I tried the couch last night and that is just not the same as my glorious Sealy. However, my brother is going to help me wrap up my mattress and boxspring to store in the garage for a few weeks. Maybe no blood and no oxygen will do the trick. No? I must have super-power blood.

Last round of HCG. i loaded on monday and tuesday so i could enjoy passover dinner with some friends but overdid the wine, stayed up til 4am singing love songs and called in sick Wednesday. hahah...that made me laugh. But that meant i did not feel like watching my eating. So I had 3 loads days instead of 2; so what? Yesterday I fasted and that actually felt good. eating is a pain in the ass for me. I'm obssessed with it, I adore it, I crave it and then i feel bad when I indulge. WHY CAN'T I LIKE HEALTHY THINGS????????????????????????????????????????????

Not taht food isn't healthy but MY food preferences aren't. HOws my writing at 5am on scattered sleep?

Kody got the rest of the Lamb from the seder for b'fast. he looks pretty content. Lamb. That's disturbing that a little baby has to die to celebrate freedom. speaking of trying to see the light in a shitty world, there is an interesting movie that my friend pointed out to me called I am It looks very inspiring. Those kinds of movies are a double-edged sword for me becuase i can feel the intensity and immensity of it, i have the passion and desire to do stuff like that but i don't. so i cry for the amazing message it gives and i cry that i'm not involved.

fuckin A! I'm glad i'm on my proper meds again!

I'm going to Napa today for work. oddly enough, i'm not in the mood. But i'm always like this on HCG. i am NOT hermiting this round nor will i allow myself to be lazy.

PARTY ON GARTH!

Last Round

I've decided to do one more round of HCG. I'm too impatient to do it the old-fashioned way. well...too impatient AND lazy. This one last round will put me at 140 and tha'ts the PERFECT weight for me. I start my load day tomorrow and tuesday and i'm only doing 21 days of the very low calorie diet. seems like easy peasy after trying to go 40 days. GOD no. don't know how Jesus did it... Beautiful day today. Time for more lawn mowing...kody already had his walk this morning so the rest of the day is about the house.