Monday, June 30, 2008

A long awaited gift...

...for me...
Life is still good.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Viggo Mortensen

I fell in "love" with Viggo when I first laid eyes on Kevin. They both have a similar look; chiseled features, deep set stunning eyes, smoldering sex appeal. But, since I couldn't have Kevin, I went with the more attainable goal of beboyfriending Viggo.

Well...just the opposite happened. Of course since Kevin is a commitment-phobe, as am I, and two wrongs can't make a right, I'm going back to my attainable goal of beboyfriending Viggo.

So, as The Secret was mentioned, I'm asking the universe to bring me Viggo Mortensen for like a really long weekend.

The pix on the right is Viggo and I thought it looked so much like Kevin so I tried to re-create the shot. Since I'm no Annie Leibovitz, I still thought it turned out pretty good. And we did that in 10 minutes :) Kevin is not a comfortable model so I tried to make it as painless as possible...

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I flushed my toilet...

Every once in a while, I am struck with the realization of my good fortune.

Like tonight...I did my biz (whiz not shiz) and turned around to flush my toilet. It's a toilet that works. It doesn't leak and it does not, for now, require service.

It's weird times like these that I know I am so very lucky to have, not only a toilet to piz in; but, to own a house with a toilet that works.

I'm also lucky that I have a lawn to water, a big pain-in-the-ass to feed, an a/c to keep me cool, a lovely bed to sleep in, cold beers to drink, a porch to chat with my friends on and a job, though I HATE, to go to.

I had a mom, who in an uncharacteristically kind money moment, graciously replaced my failing roof and who, after her death, has blessed me with monetary gifts that make me feel comfortable and safe.

I bought a used car that, amazingly, runs great. Yet I have a great bike that i can ride to work to everyday. I have clean laundry to fold, cabinets full of good food, good wine that I bought cheap, a dusty treadmill, and friends. Friends that are old and great friends that are semi-new.

I bought a CD last year called The Secret...yeah,'ve all heard of it and it mentions nothing new that the wise old people all over the world haven't mentioned before; but, reminded me to be grateful.

It reminded me to stop nagging at myself about being 'fat' and aging and the fact that I do not having a swimming pool. But to simply appreciate what I DO have.

And I do have a lot. So, Universe? Thank you. Thank you for getting me this far. Thank you for the many gifts you've bestowed upon me that I've been, most times, ungrateful for. I say this now...because I'll forget tomorrow.

hahahaha...and thank you for my humor. Of all the things I dislike about myself, I DO love my humor. Ha ha ha?

Oh and let me thank you in advance for the awesome hot tub that you'll soon be sending my way...

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

That's MS. Atlas to you...

A friend of mine, who I still keep in touch with from high school, emailed me the other day to give me her new email address. Apparantley, her and her family are moving from Florida to Georgia on a new job opportunity.

I emailed her back to congratulate her and kinda catch up and I was getting ready to end the email with a "'re getting cloooserr..." meaning it might make it easier for me to fly and visit if it's not as long as a flight to Florida.

Being burned on the subject of geography before (on a first date I made an ignorant comment about Europe being a country and that's before the moron on 5th grader said it) , I decided to look at a map of the U.S. It was there I saw that Georgia is simply above Florida.

I just ended the email with GOOD LUCK!

Monday, June 23, 2008

A forced blog

I have to add a new blog just to get rid of the other one...sick of seeing that.

Problem is, I have nothing to report.

Next Monday, I have an interview in Stockton. STOCKTON! That place always seems lame to me...but, it would be a promotion if I got it...and I love promotions becuase I figure as long as I'm working at jobs I hate, I might as well make awesome money.

I did my Fluidity workout yesterday and how lame does THAT seem? Meaning it was way too easy. I'll keep doing it because I have to show everyone I can. Including myself.

i watched Will Ferrell's Semi-pro Sunday. it was semi-good. same ol' schtick.

Wow...BOOORINNNG. In fact, don't even comment...that's how lame-o I am today. :)

Friday, June 20, 2008


I have rats...

At first I thought those were squirrels living in my roof and that's totally fine with me; but, when I climbed my ladder to the loft in my garage, a big-ass rat ran across the beam away from me. Big-ass as in Shaq's sneaker size.

I forgot about that incident until the other night when I moved a blanket looking for something. I saw Momma squirrels old bag of peanuts, ripped up and surrounded by empty peanut shells - dotted with rat turds.

I swept up the mess and threw away the peanuts. The next day, at work, I looked up rat stuff and read about the potential of contracting the Hantavirus from rat droppings. Being a hypochondriac, I was freaked out all day and eventually contacted Pest Control.

They came out yesterday around 3:00 pm. I forbade them the use of poison since that is so horrifically cruel and opted, instead, for the quick death of the metal trap.

But when the pest guy was telling me how smart they were, I had to stop him. I didn't want to hear how clever they are, how family-oriented they are, etc., etc. In fact, I fought off tears all night (although I'm unable to do so as I type) just thinking about how THEY don't know they're bad. They don't know they're loathed in our society. They're just trying to live amongst the others like we all are.

And here I come, making the decision to snap their necks.

What can I do? If I let them stay, they'll create hundreds of others and then i'll have hundreds of rats to exterminate.

Robin told me I have a big heart and I do when it comes to animals; but, I hate it...It hurts most times. Sometimes I wish i were a bit more pragmatic regarding this "infestation". Everyone I talk to is like "oh god! I hate rats; I have no problem killing them" and more along that line.

But, again...that's when i think they have no idea they're bad.
I thought about catch & release but I could be separating families! And rats do distress quite easily.

*Sigh* It's a hard, hard world out there...I'm sorry little Rats for you...hopefully you'll go to rat heaven where there will be endless safe-haven roofs for you to live in...please, please forgive me.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Canary in a Coal Mine

Or is that Fatty on a Treadmill?

See that chubby little girl on the dusty treadmill? That won't be the same me in 3 months.

Anyway, I just put up those mirrors yesterday. Kevin did the first two I did the other two...the ones already falling off the wall. you do NOT want to see behind those mirrors....

I'm trying to get serious about working out so I redid this room just for that. the mirrors are the so i can check my form. Fluidity is not as easy as it looks, folks.

SO, this is my last weekend to 'do it up' many times have i really said that? a gazillion, that's how many....but at least i keep trying. (how many times have i said THAT?)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


Today, Kevin and I rode home from work on our bikes heading to a garage that sells mopeds. YES i'm considering getting a moped "irregardless" of the fat chicks on moped jokes.

on the way, i told him about a blog i was considering writing. It would have been about "breaking the law is okay as long as you don't hurt anyone."

Now, I break the law ALL the time. They may be little infractions; but, they're illegal no less. Such as when Janet and I scaled the fence at the haunted house to drink beer on the porch. That's trespassing, folks; but, i didn't care. I wasn't hurting anyone and I certainly would not have left any empty bottles or cigarette butts there. That's just rude.

Or how about the time when we went to Angora Lakes and there was a canoe...just sitting there wanting to be floated. It's a crime to take it; but, are we hurting anyone? No, becuase we were just going to tool around for half hour or so and put it right back where we found it.

Now I know laws are really created for losers. because losers have no consideration for others. As an example, I told him about the time I went to Michelles house and saw these two people walking on the side of the street. She took out her last cigarette and threw the empty pack over her shoulder as if the world were hers.

i was appalled!!! APPALLED! How do you DO that?

So after our moped visit, i rode my bike home alone and came upon 3 people walking in front of me about 50 feet. The girl behind the couple threw her water bottle IN THE STREET! I rode past them and thought "no. you will go back"

So against my better judgement and with all the knowledge I've gained from Forensic Files and, hell! the Sacramento Bee, I turned around.

I said to her "Um, you dropped your water bottle."


"do you want me to go get it for you?"

"I don't wanit"

So I went back, picked up the bitches bottle and rode past them feeling like the whitest geek in the world. But i was the proudest, whitest geek in the world.

and maybe, even through her mocking laughter, she might retain what i did and just not litter the next time.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Workout Plan #145,688 and 2

I just bought this:

I like it because it's not jarring like running or aerobics so I PRAY THIS is the answer to my fat problem. pray. and i'm pretty sure i can still drink while doing this.

Monday, June 09, 2008

WAW!!! (What a Weekend!)

Janet and I really can't start ANY "project" without hitting our local bar, The Tallac Lounge (not to be confused with the gorgeous hike in Tahoe Mt. Tallac :) I left work early so we could be on the road by 2:30 and miss all the traffic. We decided at Tallac, that, this weekend there will be no rules. RULEBREAKERS!!!

The drive up Hwy. 50, as you can imagine, is very beautiful. By the time we were getting close to Tahoe, we decided it was time to start appreciating the local bars and bartenders so we stopped at St. Pauli Inn where Janet HAD to be gay and order a St. Pauli Girl beer...

Then we took a gay picture together...I looked too cute in this one NOT to post :) Although why I'm standing like an ape, i have no idea. Just look at the hair...the hair!

When we left St. Pauli Inn, I was telling Janet about Strawberry Lodge which, luckily is about 15 minutes away. Perfect timing between beers.

I set the timer; but, we were a little off...see the beautiful rushing river behind us?

And a fly fisherman

Back on the road, we headed straight to Janet's timeshare. I'll spare you the details but we got lost like 4 times trying to find this elusive place. FINALLY, we arrive and unpack. I went outside to have my cig-with-a-beer smoke and to just relax to take all of Tahoe in, which, by the way, is my favorite place.

This is the view from our patio.

While I was decompressing and kinda scanning the view, I happen to glance down towards the ground and there it was - a FUCKING BLACK BEAR!!!! I was just in first inclination was to do kissy noises and get it to come over, then i thought better of it. I pounded on the window for Janet to come out and see and she caught the ass end of the bear...Damn. that was just SO cool!!! I spent the remainder of the weekend keeping my eye peeled for another...Unfortunately, I couldn't get a picture becuase a.) i'm not that fast and b.) my shock just kept me staring at it, unable to move. BUT I did go check out the bears path and got a pix of his footprint.

Our first agenda item was gambling. After I freshened up, I had to wait for Janet who is SUCH a girlie girl so it takes her longer to get ready. But that's okay...i can find things to do.

The life, eh?

Here's our room...

Finally ready and on the way to the casino, we got seriously lost. I was pissed, pissed, pissed...I hate wasting time like that. This is to become the theme of our weekend...we had to allow for extra hours for all our lost time trying to find our destinations.

By the time we got to the casino, it was probably 8:00pm. Janet, as usual, puts in a hundred dollars on Coyote Moon and wins well over $500. Me? I lost $200 that night. and i HATE losing, let me tell you.

We left the casino around 2:30 a.m. and headed back 'home'.

Oddly enough, I only slept til 7:30 a.m. and I didn't want to waste too much precious time in Tahoe sleeping, so i got up and made coffee. Every morning while I was here, I would put on my suit, grab a cup of joe and head to the spa.

Does that not sound AMAZING! It is cold in the mornings too so it just felt sooo good climbing in that hot water...*sniff* THAT'S the life i was meant to have!

Janet and I, although very different personalities, have near identical desires. Most people would want to sight see, shop, kayak, etc., but not us...we wanted to eat and gamble.

So Friday afternoon, we headed down the hill to party in the major casinos and started at Harvey's.

Of course i'm losing and getting pissed becuase I work damn hard (well, not really) for my money and it's my intention to win more, not lose all.

So, I had a conversation with God on my way to the bathroom and I told him "Listen Buddy...I'm sick of this shit. YOU are going to let me win or so help me!"

Then I figured God likes to bargain so I propositioned him with a deal: If you let me win $500 or more, I won't drink for the rest of the evening.

Now I know God doesn't really interfere in our lives...he doesn't do bad things to good people, or good things to good people or even bad things to bad people...however....the very next machine I played I won $660.

That's awesome, you say? Well, I was struck with the realization that my party was over. OVER! I did my own bargaining to get out of the bargain...'he knows my heart!'....'God didn't REALLY make me win that money..' 'I'll do extra good things when I get home to make up for my indiscretion...'

Tanya = 0 God = 1

O'douls really isn't that bad, you know? Let me tell you...without alcohol, casinos really are stinky, loud and boring so we decided to actually leave early, hit a buffet, go 'home' & play cards and get to bed.

The next day we gambled again, I won AND got hammered so both God and I were happy.

Sunday, Kevin came up and brought Kody so he could hike. Unfortunately, Betsy got really sick and was unable to come; but, we're just greatful it was nothing serious. Rite Aid is going to pay BIG for screwing up her medication.

Before we headed up for our hike, we stopped for lunch at this place called Sprouts Natural Food Cafe. It was a mainly vegetarian restaurant and it was amazing. I was starving since the day before all i ate all day was a bagel...hard to drink & eat you know?

Anyway, back on the road, of course we got lost trying to find Angora Lakes but sometimes getting lost can bring you views like this

At Angora Lakes, it is just stunning....

Kody swam in all the lakes and was BESIDE himself with joy....

At the top of the "hike" (read 1/2 mile) there was a little store where you could buy their world famous lemonade popsicles...mmm...delish!

We hung out just about a half hour and headed down the hill to have our after-hike beverage.

We found an Irish pub; but, it certainly was not even remotely Irish. Damn advertisers.

When we were done, we went home to hot tub some more, pack & toodle around, wasting time until we could head out to dinner.

We went to a restaurant called Lewmandels and it was inside a Best Western. Ew, right? it was deliciuos! they start you off with complimentary Cheese fondue and the sourest bread in the world...

I swear, I could have JUST eaten that and nothing else. Paired with a lovely red, this was pure heaven.

We got the pasta dish...and Janet ordered a Cattlemen's special that looked pretty dang good.


Choppy writing...I could write a masterpiece but i'm tired. We got home at 9:30pm and I had to get up and come to f*****g work becuase I didn't win that million I had planned on winning.

It really was an amazing weekend. I haven't gotten out of my house and had fun like that in WAY too long...I might not have a million bucks but I like to spend my off-time acting like I do.

Thanks ROCK!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Mini Vacation...

I'm going to Tahoe tomorrow. My goal is to relax, gamble, swim, sauna, steam, eat, party, sleep, play and pretend I never have to come back to work.

And aaaaall without Kody...yay! Course I'll miss him two days in to the trip : (

But he's coming up Sunday to hike and that will be good for both of us....Slante!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008


I was really depressed last week so I shopped. I really hardly ever spend money, unless i'm partying; but, this was called for...

so, of course my pictures suck becuase i'm a sucky photographer, but here's what i bought:

This is kinda funky but i needed a new duvet cover for the summertime since you can probably figure out what happened to the old one:

And this is a very cool, soft & happenin' rug...It was time to get rid of the old one since you can probably figure out what happened to that one:

And FINALLY, at 42 years of age, I might have a back yard cute enough for people to visit...

Believe it or not, this all came to UNDER $400...i might be depressed; but, I still am cheap.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Crazy Hat Pub Crawl

I go to a pub crawl probably once a year. And the East Sac Crazy Hat is my fav becuase it's only 7 bars and it's in the cool part of town.

This year was great becuase actaully lots of my friends were available!

Here's a shot without the hats

and with. I see the hats really DO make us crazy!

I was supposed to get some 'after' shots but that never works out really well for me :)