Poop.

I drank Saturday.

My "I'll just have one" quickly became "well, one more at your house while we swim and play cards" to "well we're RIGHT by the bar..might as well go in and have one" right on down to 3 more by the pool.

For my punishment, i got up sunday and rode my bike to the gym (7 miles one way) and lifted weights for 45 minutes. that acutally felt really good.

so if drinking makes me work out more, i'm all for it!

p.s. I won $500 on a scratcher this weekend....yay!

Dude...

How did i go from groggily putting a shoe on the wrong foot:

all the way to the best run of my life? This no drinking thing is starting to feel pretty good. I'm not happy about that.

and

HERE'S TO A VERY SUCCESSFUL OPENING TO MY FRIEND KELLY!!!!

(How's THAT for support)

DAY 7!!! I DID IT!

Well...i did it for a whole week, that is...i have 4 more to go.

Yesterday for breakfast i had a strawberry "pop tart" that was the size of a frickin' card. I took little teensy tiny bites to make it last as long as possible. As i was driving to work, it dropped on the floor but that didn't stop me. HELL no! that's all i get! i just pulled off some kody hairs and finished my "meal."

For lunch i had a shitty salad (wilty, sour leaves) and a beans & rice thing. For dinner I had the most deliciuos veggie burrito. The stuff in the package was not that great but i smeared a half whole wheat pita with non-fat sour cream, 1/2 ounce of cheese, the nutrisystem stuff and some fire roasted salsa and THAT was delicious! I"m having that again tonight.

SO...7 days later, i've lost 6 pounds, i've worked out every single day and i still feel pretty good. The weekend is coming up; i have to put my straight jacket on so i'll behave.

Day 6 - Nutrisystem

My breakfast was kinda cool. i went to starbucks and got an iced double espresso in a venti cup and added "milk". Then i used the chocolate shake packet and added it to the coffee. it wasn't a starbucks mocha but it wasn't bad either.

for lunch I had their cheesy mashed potatoes with brocolli and my green bean mixture i made the night before.

I made my own dinner last night and it was just all right. i think i'm missing my chef boyardee :)

okay, on to funner things. There is nothing better than a planned and perfectly executed anything. All us girls are going to the state fair mid-august and we're bringing in our own drinks as the beers are like $8 there. Since i can drink about 8 beers, that's a VERY expensive night.

Everyone has flasks except Janet and I so i thought i'd surprise her and get us both one. Then i took it further and wondered if i could find a flask with a dragonfly on it since Janet LOVES dragonflys and collects them. Viola! I found one! So i ordered her a dragonfly flask and me a martini one.

Kevin and I went to the Dollar Tree so i could get a bag and tissue paper to wrap it in when he suggested that i buy this tacky angel and pretend THAT'S her gift. The more i thought about it, the more i loved the idea.

Becuase Janet is one of those people that would die before she hurt your feelings so i knew if i got her this horrible gift, she would act as though it were the best thing ever.

So here is the bag i bought...CUTE!


and here is the pretend gift:


so she opened her gift and was "overwhelmed" with her angel. I tried so hard not to laugh but after abuot 30 seconds, Kevin and i couldn't contain ourselves and started howling. Then she asked "is this not the gift?"

NO! So i pulled up all the tissue paper and she saw her REAL gift which was this:

Day 5 - Nutrisystem

This will be a boring post because i'm getting used to the diet. I actually really like it becuase i don't have to think about it. I just grab & eat.

Yesterday i had cereal with 4 ounces of soy milk, an apple, asparagas that i made from Vegan with a Vengeance and pasta from the dinner before. For dinner i had the BEST chef boyardee-ish lasagna. i was in HEAVEN! and I made a green bean with mushroom dish from one of my vegan cookbooks that was really good.

no weight lost; but, that's okay.

Reason #178...

...of why you should NEVER experiment with red:

Day 4 - Nutrisystem

Getting bored with my self-absorbed posts yet?

Day 4 - Sunday. My most FAVORITE day to party. It's the day i wash myself in alcohol and denial about the up and coming work day. But alas today I had to face the day sober.

Actually, poeticism aside, it wasn't all that hard. I did smoke like 4 cigarettes; maybe that helped. I had the peculiar eggs in the a.m. but added my garden-fresh yellow tomatoes and french green beans. That was MUCH more tolerable.

We went to Costo for our monthly run and they have those damn snack booths all over the place. and i was starving. So i caved and had one whole wheat rice puff and felt guilty but it sure took away those hunger pangs.

for lunch i had a split pea soup and it was delicious! rich & creamy...better than progresso's canned split pea which is shocking.

for dinner i ate real food. Janet made a lovely brown rice pasta, the best homemade sauce ever, a beautiful salad and some delicious bread which i smelled instead of ate. I only had about a cup of pasta and a large salad with some avocado (*gasp*) and fat dressing..mmm...

Day 4. I almost one week down with 4 more to go after that. I worked out AND i've lost another pound. That's 4 pounds in 4 days (remember - mostly water weight)

during the remainder weeks, i'll only weigh myself once a week. lest i slash my wrists....

Day 3 - Nutrisystem

Don't worry. i'm only going to blog about the first 7 days. After that i'll give weekly reports because i know you're all just sitting on the edge of your seats to know my progress! But it's new, you know? I'm excited!

Back to day 1, this is what my stuff looks like from Nutrisystem. It comes in a huge box and it's like christmas going through it!


Here i've seperated all the dinners so i don't get confused. easy to do.



Now back to Day 3. I started off with their powdered eggs. I can't take this to work because it requires cooking in a pan. Here's a pix of when you add the water:

I know, i know...where can you get some...

Here's that concoction after:

It wasn't really bad. The soy saugsauge crumbles tasted like spongy bacon bits so i t'weren't thrilled with that. i only have 3 of those so i'll choke them down and add salsa and veggies to them to mask a bit of the weird flavor.

For lunch i was at Janet's swimming all day so i brought my little dish with me. It was canned tortellini in a tomato sauce and tasted just like chef boyardee and momma loves her some chef boyardee. janet made me a lovely salad to accompany my pasta dish and that was the perfect meal. oh and tons of water. and i burned in the damn sun. i hate being white but i hate being red even more.

Now...dinner i had pizza. That's right...pizza. Before you get too jealous, let me continue...i took the pizza out of the box and it was the tiniest thing i've ever seen. Like a swollen Oreo cookie...Mmmm...oreoooo'ss.....So to give you an idea of the size of my dinner, i put a deck of cards beside it...


I do have to say this was deliciuos! it was thin crust so i toasted in my toaster over and it was nice & crunchy. Although it was small, it packed a yummy punch. I had french style green beans as a side.

And finally I bought a basket of strawberries at the farmer's market. before they got too mushy i decided i'd dehydrate them. They were little delicious jewels of sugary bites. LIke strawberry potato chips. yum!


I'm not as hungry anymore. I'm not as gassy anymore and i'm not as gurgly anymore and i feel pretty good. I attribute that to not drinking though. I went to teh gym yesterday and worked out for an hour and had the energy to do so which is more than i can for my past every day life.

and i haven't lost any weight today but that's okay. my belly is finally down to 5 months pregnant instead of 6 and that's always good.

Day 2 - Nutrisystem

Not too bad today. The tootin' has subsided and is now replaced with some odd gurgling. But i'd rather have THAT then the other.

today i had a delicious blood red plum (never thought I'd hear myself call a piece of fruit delicious - i can thank nutrisystem for that) and a cup of gooey, yet yummy, brown sugar oatmeal. And my usual Starbucks Americano.

I was so hungry before lunch that I got excited I had some fruit left; but, realized i had had my fruit quota for this part of the day. So what i'm really learning is how to be okay with feeling starvation. It's an interesting lesson.

For lunch, i actually went to La Bou becuase i was meeting Juror #2. aka Sarah. I had 1/2 asian noodle salad (sans bread) and 1/2 green bean, carrot & onion salad. Now i would NEVER in a million years order a veggie salad. or pass on bread but i'm serious this time. i spent $300, you know?

I'm SO serious that going to happy hour at two of my favorite bars with two super fun chicks; i stayed sober! Pay no attention to the white knuckles becuase that doesnt matter; i did it. I was actually the Designated Driver. last time i was the Designated Driver, I got so drunk I can't even remember how i got home. I think I missed the point.

For dinner I ate what i brought to work for lunch which was a concoction of chemicals, broccoli & corkscrew pasta. Now you can't deter me. i LOVE chemicals. If it taste like chef boyardee or hamburger helper, you got me. So I'm pretty lucky here.

When we got back from the bar, i really was starving and i hadn't even met my quota of food for the day so i chopped up my garden zucchini, a portabello mushroom, garlic and sauteed all that in a TB of olive oil, wine, lemon & herbs de provence. fuck that was good.

So, today Im still loving the NS - it's still exciting. I've worked out every single day since i started - can you say 2 - AND i've lost 3 pounds. (most of that is water weight so don't get excited)

Hope everyone is having a GREAT weekend.

Day 1 - Nutrisystem

Okay. I was STARVING. But i'm sure going from 4,800 calories per day down to 1,200 is bound to make you feel that way.

I had an Iced Americano for my coffee (no more soy mochas) and filled it with non-fat milk (ick) and a splash of half & half (mm - especially with vodka & kahlua). Since i had my dairy fill for the morning, i ate a chocolate chip breakfast bar which wasn't bad.

then an apple.

For lunch i steamed some cauliflower and topped it with salt, pepper and goshimo and had a cup of Nutrisystems Black Bean soup. It looked like shit but i was surprised at the flavor. almost as much as i was surprised by the gas it gave me. i think i got 2nd degree burns down there...at the very least, i'm minus nose hairs today.

which was scary becuase i had to attend a fabulous showing of Les Miserables...but thank the Gas God above, all was well by then. I do have to say that during the first act, i had a lovely young lady sitting in front of me. she was short, petite and fit me well. AFTER the first act, I'm like "Hey! what the hell is that?" It was some young white boy with a big fat afro! i had to practically put my head on his shoulder the entire 2nd act. my neck hurts...

So on to day 2. I'm still excited and it's kinda fun picking out your food for the day. also, people complain that you still have to buy food, as if that's a con but i rather like adding fresh stuff to my freeze dried stuff so that's a pro to me. and another thing, paying $300 for the month is another really good motivator. No beer is worth losing that kinda money.

A woman of many tries...

...and now it's Nutrisystem. Their vegetarian package. I HAVE to lose 25 pounds before i turn another year older or, i swear, i'll just see how fat i can get instead.

But beer is so fun!

Imagine if I invented a fat-burning beer loaded with Liver cleansing vitamins. think of the possibilities.

We went out with the girls Friday night. There was 5 of us and it was very loud. We went to a co-workers party for about an hour and then headed out from there. i wanted to stay becuase they whipped out Taboo but my friends were ready to go home and my other friends were ready for another bar. Oy. How do i keep up? (looks like i manage)

Sunday was spent on the couch to watch an IFC marathon...yessaa baby!

Wish me luck in Nutrisystem. I won't post a 'before' til I'm sure i'll get an 'after'.

Order of the Phoenix

I can't tell you how I felt about this movie. I didn't dislike it and I didn't love it. I certainly was put off by Harry's mature look. short hair, chisled face....He should have kept his hair longer and shaggier to make him more boyish looking. Like Pete Dougherty minus the heroin.

But I had popcorn and that made it all better.

We've scheduled a day off from work next month to go to Sunsplash! Doesn't that sound fun? 12 adults pushing aside the kiddies so we can get our turn early going down the water slides...yeah baby! I should open an adult slides with swim-up bars everywhere. No...the insurance wouldn't be high on that venture.

God, I have NOTHING to report. My garden is dying, Kody is funnier than ever, i cleaned my kitchen once from top to bottom; it's already a mess; I watched the entire first season of Maude, we're biking to our dinner tonight and hitting the concert in the park tomorrow. so things are normal and i suppose that's always a good thing... :)

Happy 6th of July!!!

We had a great 4th...Janet and I went to Tallac and played a couple games o'pool. And shuffleboard. She kicked my ass in both.

We swam in the pool all day and yes my gorgeous red hair is now greenish tinted with a hay-like texture; but, i don't care. i LOVE to be under the water. i'd live there if i could.

Kody's pads are ripped to shit but i know he'd do it all over again if given the choice. We gave Betsy and Kody doggy downers to keep them calm during all the fireworks. Betsy went down as though we gave her a horse tranquilizer but Kody was as feisty as ever.

Just like his mommy.

Come to find out, Janet found Kody's pill in between the cracks of her back yard pad while enjoying her morning coffee. he didn't even take it.

Unlike his mommy.

So yesterday I laid around watching the first season of Maude, enjoying the fact that Kody was too wiped out to bark at me wanting his ball kicked...yay! Janet praised me for being so good about resting the next day, taking care of myself after a night of hard partying...that made kevin laugh. and me too...i never really looked at it that way!

Here's to more days of rests becuase that means more days of glorious partying!~

LULUS!!

It was a girls weekend. And you know what that means. It means the table the next day will look like this: (please note the naked boy cards...oy)

My Saturday started out good. Got up early, cleaned the house, took Kody & me to starbucks and then packed my bag for the slumber party.

When I got to the house, i opened the door to let Kody out and he was very unruly. Took off...right in to someones garage and when he didn't emerge, i knew he had gone IN their house. So i ran as fast as i can (read .009432 mph) not knowing if this house belongs to an old lady with a hundred cats or maybe it's the home of a 10 year old boy who collects hamsters.

thank GOD it was just some cool people with one old dog.

As soon as i walk in to Sallys house i get scolded for forgetting chips & salsa. NEVERMIND that i brought a gorgeous salad from my garden. Maybe because beer & salad is not as good as beer & chips & salsa? i don't know.

I really love these girls though. All is forgiven becuase it is a beautiful day and we're gonna party. Sally and Candy have the perfect backyard for a little "suarve"; a cold pool, lawnchairs everywhere, the best floaties i've seen in my life and LOTS of beer!

I mentioned i got there at noon, right? Well at 2:00 my little Sally has only one operable eye, apparantley, and it's the only one looking at me while she talks. I'm thinking "Shit. i hope she doesn't go down too soon..."

(Amazingly enough, that one eye kept it's eye on everyone til well after i passed out.)

The pool is beautiful but it has no stairs so Kody hardly went in. And when he did, someone had to help him get out. I tried to rustle up as many workers to do this job as that what the rich folk do. Thanks Dena and Candy!

Their neighbor peeks over the fence and she's merrily invited over. Now Candy adores this lady; but, i, to this day, am not sure why. She was nice, she keeps a good watch on the house - but that beyotch shushed me. And you all KNOW i HATE to be shushed.

(Clockwise starting at noon: Dena, Candy, the Shusher & Sally - oh and my foot)

I ran to Sally to tell on her becuase i knew my girl would TAKE HER DOWN! And she did but in her funny little way.

or was it? Because shortly thereafter, she left. :)

We're all happy now!

Now it's time for games. Ever play Catch Phrase with like the worst player ever? Try the worst player ever who's drunk. And has one good eye. and comes with a percussion system built in.

"Uuuh. Uuuuuuuuh....*sigh*.....uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.....Umm...hmmm....uuuuuuuh..." BUZZ!

that was my partner.

Take a guess who...

But we're assured by Candy that her boyfriend is coming over and he'll show us some magic! YAY!!!! I LOVE MAGIC! And i love beer and now i'm full of one and preparing for the other...(oh in between all of this we had some lovely kabobs too...MMmmmm)

So when John gets there i give him 4.5 minutes to relax before i ask him to do some magic. (this is really sad and i'm going to embarrass myself but i gotta be me) he say's no, he's too tired and just wants to relax. Sally introduces "her girls" to him (not THOSE girls) and asks him if this is the game he was talking about earlier (showing him my Catch Phrase)

J: "Nice to meet you! Yes Sally...that's the game."

T: "Do some magic!!"

J: "I'm really tired...I'd just like to relax..."

S: "Hey John...these are my girls!!!" "Hey John...is this the game you told me to get?"

T: "Do some magic!!"

S: "John...is this the game?" "Did you meet Tanya and Dena?" "they're my girls"

T: "Do some magic!"

Well, we didn't get a magic show but we did get a nice view of his ass as he walked out of the gate.

What. Was it something i said?

Thank God the evening was winding down becuase i know most of us were full. All i remember is laying on an inflated double mattress with a beady blanket...'night night.

afterthought:

Usually the next day i immediately hop in my car and go home becuase i just want to BE home but i stayed for quite a while in the morning becuase it was so comfortable and fun. The pool looked super good, their home is very comforting...Sally's boyfriend (yes she made the call) made us breakfast. we watched the most killerest move called The Illusionist. It was a good morning to cap off a great evening and THAT'S the kind of weekend I love...

Thanks guys...see you next time!