Wednesday, May 31, 2006

hump day

kody was being his usual morning asshole self. he likes to go in to my bedroom and then refuses to leave, knowing i have to get to work.

yes. he knows this.

so i ask Betsy to leave; she does. i ask kody to leave; he just looks at me like ""

i remember i'm not supposed to ask the 87 times i just did; but, what the hell else can i do? ask him once and hope he remembers 5 minutes later while i'm still standing there waiting for him to leave? so i go to get him and he jumps UP and smacks his fat-ass head right in to my jaw, making my TOOTH BLEED!!!

my tooth bled!

this is not the first time this dog has caused me injury. all innocent, of course. or so he makes me think.

p.s. does everyone know NOT to vaccuum a rug with an ipod on or is it just me? becuase that shocked the shit out of my eardrums!

i think my tooth is in a new spot now...crap.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

what is WRONG with these girls???

why are they always pube to pube and staring out at the world like children raised by wolves?

i meant tuesday

forget the haircut! Check out the jammies!

okay. side by side it doesn't look that much different but she did cut off all the dead hair and that was about 5 inches...(isn't all hair dead?)

on to other news: i have little frogs in my greenhouse. they are SO cute!

i'm happy they're there becuase i do believe they will eat all my bugs. i just hope they don't like lady bugs because lady bugs are good too.

what did you do for your 3 dayer? mine was uneventful so i'd better hear some good stories...<

Friday, May 26, 2006


here are my plain-jane before pix:

I was trying to make a goofy face, then kevin made me laugh and i went back to the goofy face but it kinda didn't work. kinda.

here is my scary THE RING pix: ooooh....(and you can see my roots)

and last baby got back view: (that's flour on my ass. and betsy on my left ...awww)

oooh..stay tuned. New hair pix's posted monday. how compelling!

ps. THIS is what i WANT to look like:

Thursday, May 25, 2006


i love all the blogs i read because they're normal blogs about what people do in their daily lives. but sometimes i wish i could write a blog where the reader hangs on every word. like Sex and the City? Brilliant writing and at the end of 98.75% of all their episodes, i feel like getting up and clapping. and, in fact, i do. i'm moved.

i used to be a really good writer.

if i do say so myself.

so when i read blogs like i get a little sad. so well written, so well ended. interesting from word one to word ?. my entries are fragmatic and chock full of incomplete ideas. just like my mind. i've taken no time, no love, no thought in to developing an interesting post, just pour it out and publish.

but i guess that's what blogging is about, right?

well here's some more 'pouring'...

my shelves are hung and are brilliant. i'll post a pix tonight. I'm currently buying all the goodies to fill each jar that i bought at ikea. i've labled each jar too. I'll say it again: I AM GAY!! but there is nothing, and i mean NOTHING, better than wanting to cook a recipe and having every single ingredient on hand.

Do i have oat flour?

i do now.

Do i have Vital Wheat Gluten?

i will after work.

Do i have nutritional yeast?

well...yes but now it's in its final resting home. where i can see when i run low of it and need to buy more.

i feel good about this.

anyway here they is: (and pay no mind to the mismatched blinds. i'm aware of their hideousness...a thing called money is getting in teh way of replacing them! except i had enough to buy shelving and jars and the stuff to go in them - priorities!)

on another note: we have a 3 day weekend and i coudln't be any happier. unless it were a 4 dayer. then i'd be happier. i feel like calling in sick tomorrow and pissing away the day. at 5 i'm getting my hair done. i'll post before and after pix.


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

worst dream ever

i dreamt that i was talking to a friend when i realized i hadn't fed Kody in who knows how long. so i panicked and jumped in a truck and drove straight. i was going the wrong way and couldn't figure out how to get home. (i HATE that)

the next scene i'm walking in the house calling kody's name and there he was ni the bathroom drinking water as skinny as ever. i saw his hip bones and he was swaying he was so sick.

weird. he looked like Betsy but it was kody.

i always dream about taht dog. i wonder why? he's such a huge force and presence in my life that he bombards my dreams too.

love that shit.

today i have to go to the state capitol to support the law of not leashing your dog in the back yard. i hate stuff like this because i get too upset. i need to learn to control my emotions better. when it comes to animals; i'm an open book.

i bought some shelves for my kitchen from ikea. today i'm gonna order all my dry goods to populate my new jars. i'm so gay. (i mean happy)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Vegan with a Vengeance (VwaV)


i got my VwaV cookbook yesterday. i'm having my girlfriend and her daughter over on wedensday and i'm making Best Brussel Sprouts (umm...from shmoo's website) and the Mushroom and Sun Dried tomato risotto from VwaV.

today i'm going to ikea to get some shelving for all my vegan stuff like oat flour, nutritional yeast, bulghur, couscous, arrowroot, agaragar...just can't wait.

Monday, May 22, 2006

It's Victoria Day!

whatever that means.

i had the best weekend ever. friday night, watched 24, made hot "wings" & celery sticks and went to bed early.

saturday, i ran 3 miles!!! had coffee, made banana pancakes from the post punk kitchens website, met some friends for dinner and partied after that. Peng was worried about his orange shirt (that i picked out becuase he looks good in the red family color) and that he'd be the only man IN orange.

umm....don't think so....

Sunday was cheesily perfect. Got up, had coffee, made bfast, shopped, visited our local museum, worked out, came home, showered, and opened all the windows. Peng sat in the chair to read his book and was shortly out like a light. i laid there for about 5 minutes listening to the rain and the train horn in the distance while my doggies breathed deeply in their slumber.

finally, i joined the group and slept a good big phat nap myself. as gay as all that sounds, it's true and it was perfect.

Friday, May 19, 2006

if you really loved me...

you'd take this survey and answer the way you know i'd want you to answer:

how do i get these

do they know something about me i don't? (click on pix to see better)

tomorrow is my bloggaversary. one year ago today i joined a new family. it's been up and down, fun & hard, irritating and relieving...exhausting and renewing.

and i love every minute of off to read what others are saying. here's to the weekend!!!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

what is UP with Kody???

he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo clingy in the morning. a new pattern, perhaps? one i'm not liking...

So i'm trying to get ready in the bathroom. Where's Kody? Oh! there he is...attached to my hip! (don't mind my mismatched outfit..heh...heh)

"Hmm...i think i'll weigh myself. Why on earth do i weigh 250 pounds?!?!" oh well...

off to change. but not easily as i have to plow & kick my way becuase THIS is ALWAYS in the way.

I've got all these pictures now i'd like to download so i can blog about it. Guess who's there...?

I plug in the USB cord to upload said pictures...Kody's so close the cord will hang him (ACTUAL USB cord for Sony Camera on nose)

Now this is not easy to load the pictures and drop them in to my jump drive becuase my computer is about 480 years old. so i'm running late, i'm frustrated with my pc, my coffee is cold and this beast inSISTS on continually nudging his head under my arm.

where's Besty, you ask? Oh HERE she is...being the perfect angel from heaven to balance the little devil from earth...

how's THAT for a morning?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

ever wish...? could have a different life?

i do.

especially when i spend an hour reading about someone else's life like hers:

i think i did this life all fucking wrong.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

all right...that's enough

i'm trying to lose weight right? I'm 40 now and just not as hot as i was in my 20's (in my opinion - not that 40 year old women aren't gorgeous)

so i join and i love it! it's very unassuming, not rude or sneaky like, a more-than-reasonable monthly fee, no signup fee, no sign off fee...

but if i have to look at this @#$%* every time i log on....

i just got back from the dentist too. i look like i have Bells Palsy. i creid too. i'm 12 when i go there...i just don't get the little prize anymore.

Bauer Rules

Time is not absolute. a minute is not a minute everywhere (Einstein). But its ridiculous how a minute feels like a millisecond on monday nights at 9!

All of a sudden it's been an hour. and i've done things i needed to get done: wash my face, brush my teeth, do one chore on my "To Do" list, remove toe polish, clean toe jam, etc....

all that stuff SEEMS to take a full hour but it just seemed like 15 minutes.

anyway, my new Disc 3 Season 2 will be in my mail box tonight. that's potentially a full 4 hours of 24.

if i didn't have to work the next day, i'd watch all 4. but i'll pace myself...

Saturday, May 13, 2006

I said i would never, EVER, never, never EVER... this in my new car:

but i did. i'm a sucker. but can you see why???

Friday, May 12, 2006


my second favorite day of the week.

i just finished the movie Shop Girl. has anyone seen that movie? I, personally, loved it. i normally am not thrilled with the old guy getting a young girl, a TINY young girl; but, no moved me. i even almost cried in two spots. i though Claire was phenomenal.

Kody is becoming unruly. It's time for some disciplinatic training. i HATE squashing his personality but he's highly annoying and irritating. i'm already borderline annoyed and irritated; i don't need a shove.

Betsy is doing WELL!

i have zero plans this weekend which makes me feel like a loser. oh yes, i'll clean...for some reason my house always manages to need my attention. but, yay? My house needs me?

no wonder i drink.

my greenhouse overfloweth with the blessings of soon-to-be yummy-ass veggies...and not a moment too soon as i had to choke down a store bought tomato today. ew. soon i'll have scallions, artichokes, lettuce (well..that comes ready), strawberries, cilantro, basil, tomatoes, lemons & lots o'squash. the squash is the EASIEST to grow. infact, it's taking over my greenhouse. i'll have to figure out something's my least favorite veggie too...another joke God likes to play on me.

i hope i have a better weekend than i'm thinking...and you too.


Wednesday, May 10, 2006

silent treatment to the writers of 24

i'm watching season 1 right now and i'm on the 2nd to the last episode of the first year and i was so pissed, i refused to watch the last show.

but, of course, i will tonight becuase i'm addicted to jack bauer. i had a dream last night that i was looking for him and when i found him i asked him to hug me. it was a lame no-pubic-area-to-pubic-area kinda hug so i asked him closer. Closer. CLOSER!

*sigh* I'd love to marry that guy but who names a kid Kiefer?

"Hi Keif" "heeey, it's Keefy!!" "i love you too, Queefie boy"

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


i made a jerk sauce last night and put about 14 teaspoons too much of cayenne. i think i've permanently scarred my esophagus.

i just went to big lots to buy 4 cans of dog food and spent $47. but i got a soaker hose for $4.99!! how can you beat that? you can't! and some rubber mats for the back of the pacifica for muddy paws. and some cute dragon fly lights for my back yard and a hurricane lamp, in the event we get a hurricane.

I slowly woke up this mroning and when i opened my eyes, Betsy was sitting up, quite alert just staring at me. WAITING for a reason to wag her tail. she's so cute.

and on the devils side, kody bolted out the door when i went out front to water and refused to come back. someone needs a good beating. i finally grabbed him by the neck and walked him back to the house. when we hit the driveway he struggled and just did not want to go in. it was a weird moment like "is he going to bite me???" becuase if he did, i'd never tell anyone. even weirder was i had to bend down, near his pearly whites and wrap my arms around his chest, lift him up leaving him with his two back feet and carry his fat ass to teh porch.

i truly AM the reason our property values are sinking.

i get to wash & clean my car tnoigth because i'm having a cocktail with my friend Kelly tomorrow and she has yet to see my new boy! i 'scited.

Monday, May 08, 2006

holy crap...

who knew you could get so much done when you don't drink???

Sunday is my "party" day because house chores are super boring unless you're buzzed. can be super boring unless you're buzzed. Or maybe i'm just super self-centered. neither here nor there...i just know yesterday was so productive.

here's what you can do when you're not hammered: take dogs to park, grocery shop, home depot shop, plant flowers , do 4 loads of laundry, switch out fall bedroom colors and replace with spring ones (notice Kody in the mirror?), watch 4 episodes of the Jack Bauer show, aka 24, shower, shit & shave AND cook a lovely dinner for yourself: .

If i'd been drinking, the plants would still be in their original planter thingies, the laundry would be molding in the washer, kody would be super bored as he didn't get to go the park becuase mommy is acting "funny" again and I would have had to re-watch 4 episodes of 24. BUT i would have played endless games of Lingo on the web.


OH and Betsy is eating so very well now...she's so much happier. i am afraid she does have some neurological damage; however. she does still stumble when she walks so i don't think it's about being starved and weak. but, if she can live with it, so can i.
there she is fucking cute!

Friday, May 05, 2006


3 dogs is way too much for me.

i took kody and marmalade to the park and on the 6th throw, threw the ball over the fence. even though marmalade is a retriever, he's not a magician. so i treid to get the dogs in the back of my car and they were not ready to go.

i had my side door open and the hatchback open trying to get marmalade in. the shithead jumped in my back seat, muddy, sharp paws and all. i almost had a stroke. AND he would NOT get out. i'm just thankful there was no one around to witness my frothing, hysterical freak-out.

i should have NEVER bought such an expensive, luxurious car.

in fact, "Beautiful Car for Sale!"

i bladed to work yesterday. 7 miles each way. 40 minutes each way. and now my groin hurts. the heavier you are the faster you go...i was cruisin'. but soon it'll be difficult to get those wheels to roll, right Tanya? RIGHT!

tomorrow is my exam...i pray i'm the only one out of 5,000 others that gets a 99%.

it's at 2:30 pm. even worse.

off to study. off to fume about my seats. off to try and make this life as best i can.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

summer's here!

i had to go the dentist yestserday morning. they always give me nitrous because i'm such a horrid patient. while i'm under nitrous, i have the strangest thoughts. i've found the answer to the universe but couldn't remember the question; i thought about a GREAT movie idea of whatever anyone thinks is transferred to a disc so others can watch; i think that sue intentionally bloodies my gums becuase she thinks i can't feel; i feel like partying while i'm under; sometimes i freak out and then i try to calm myself down then i think "who the hell is that trying to calm me down?? is that ME??"

see? it's weird; yet, i still do it. and i still love it.

I have to watch my girlfriends 100# Golden Retriever this week so i now have 3 dogs. Betsy sure as shit perked RIGHT up with another dog. it's funny and terribly sad to see her charge Marmelade and slip & slide the whole way...she's a tiger, that one. but she's eating alot now and she looks ever so much better. she lifts her head up higher and it doens't shake audrey hepburns used to do?

we had a garage sale on saturdya. a bloody mary garage sale. made a hundred bucks but didn't really care! hahahaa.....

it's cinco de mayo friday. fuck. i can't party becuase i have a very important, life-improving test on Saturday. FUCK.