Friday, October 22, 2010


some live with them; some don't.

i live with mine daily, hourly, minutely.

They tell me I'll have fun; go for it. then the next day i realize i didn't have fun (sortof) and that my life is no better off becuase of it.

but i still do it.

I do it every chance i can. i do it when the demons tell me to do it. i do it with high hopes.

But alas, today i'm still the same woman i was at 13. Trapped in a vicious cycle that promises new beginnings and leaves me with old ends. i complain about the same problems day in and day out; i renew my vows of changing only to fall prey to old habits.

this is who i am. I really do want love, health, and happiness; but what i do says different. How do i do differently? if I knew, I could probably change the world....