Friday, March 28, 2008

Hair, Long beautiful hair...everywhere hair

If anyone owns an animal, you know there is literally hair everywhere. When I wake in the morning, I have to do the dehair-the-face-and-mouth ritual along with the keep-your-eye-peeled-for-hair-in-coffee-cup before I pour.

When Kody dies (GOD FORBID) I will find his hair, probably for the next 10+ years.

And I'm sure I'll cry each time.

SO, thanks to my brother Eric would sent me this Fingerhut link, I bought this for myself!!

You sweep up the hair off the hardwood floor and, instead of piling it in the corner and hiding it with the broom, this handy little device will suck it up! huh?? brilliant!

Michelle thinks i'm quickly heading in to senior citizen status for getting excited about fingerhut; but, who doesn't love gadgets??

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Am I a class act?

Last night, a friend of mine and I *ahem* went to the Mondavi Center in Davis to see the Alvin Ailey Dance production. It was packed. On a Tuesday night even! And soon I'd see why.

The athletism (sp?) displayed before our eyes for 2 hours put my lame-o bike rides to work, where I think I’m Lancestra Armstrong during the ENTIRE 30 minutes, to shame. I hurt just watching them. How do they do it? Remembering all those routines, in synch and not once trip? Amazing.

Anyway, I'm quite proud of my new cultured self as I have gone to two of these events over the last few weeks. I want you to know that I chose the Mondavi Center instead of the neighborhood bar or Big Lots. That's right, sista!

But I'm not made of steel. If you tempt my uncultured side to come out and play, she will. Even if you don't realize what you might be doing.

So, Kevin had to sneeze but for some reason chose to stifle it and instead made this odd old car trying to start, dying cow sound. Well, I looked at him in the dark and whispered "what the hell was that?" and then proceeded to giggle.

And in about two seconds it morphed in to a hearty chuckle. Now in between the giggle and the chuckle I had an internal dialogue that begged me to PLEASE not lose control of thyself. Because, all my life, when I lose control of my laughter, I'm ALWAYS the last one laughing.

But in the next second, I launched in to the asthmatic, can't catch your breath, try to not be heard laugh. Although it’s so immature, it’s also glorious...It's explosive and euphoric and joyful and it’s all wrapped up in one bad, delicious moment. I LOVE bad, delicious moments. Thank God, very mature Kevin was, too, caught up in the immature magnificence of it all. This whole episode lasted only about 60 seconds; but, I added another year to my life with that workout. And that’s ALWAYS worth it…

Thanks, Mr. Mondavi, for trying to make a distingushed woman out of me...but, it looks like I'm gonna need a liiiitle more practice.

Monday, March 24, 2008

R.I.P.



I love you, Beer. I love you; but, you don't love me. I think you love me because you wrap your loving arms around my belly...you just never let go. And that's why I must let YOU go. Starting tomorrow, I'm eating right, exercising and not drinking beer. This is not to say I won't have an affair on you with vodka, becuase, I'm letting you know up front...i WILL fraternize with Vodka. Because you both do make me feel good. You make not-so-fun times, fun and fun times, funner.

But, until you learn to not cause visceral fat, you're history.

This weekend I was supposed to go to a party with my friend Janet. It was a dessert party with champagne and ...well, desserts. I was so looking forward to it becuase i wanted to take fabulous pictures of fattening food and it was the last weekend to EAT said fattening foods. But Janet got sick. So I had chocolate milk. Just not the same.

For the month of April, I'm working semi-part-time. Tuesday, Wednesday and thursday i go in at 11:30. What do i do till then? Work out like a movie star preparing for a part.

it's my goal to look like this by May 1st:

(minus the boobies)

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Another tidbit blog

There's a survey on CNN that asks if people think we'll be out of this "recession" in 2009 and it's equally divided. Are they kidding? We're spending soon to be a trillion dollars on this stupid war and we'll be peaches and cream in 2009? I don't think so.

I'm just glad I have a somewhat gas efficient car.

I did a pros & cons list about my ex (sorry DB) and on both the pro and con side was that he is not an alcoholic. Also, on the con side was that he likes gay musicals and old movies. Is that really a con?

My hands are shaking ever so slightly; but, if you know me you'd know that i'll immediately jump to a Parkinson's disease diagnosis. Even though it could be anxiety, the car accident, my medication, too much spirit...but no...to me it's the onset of Parkinsons.

Speaking of which, I scratched the top of my right foot and really broke the skin. Now it's slightly infected and looks pretty scary. Will it heal? Probably not becuase i'm sure it's a flesh eating disease that will take my foot away. Then I worried about how would I work out? I'm pretty sure I can ride my bike with a stump. Pray for me.

Ever watch Eli Stone? Do it.

My neighbors leave their puppy alone too much and it really bothers me. I, personally, hate her because she's a VERY high energy breed; but, that's what makes it worse. At this point in her life, she needs attention, discipline and love. Hmm...kinda like me. Even though i'm old.

On a brighter note, is it me or are the birds suddenly extra melodic?

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Hmmm...

It's not that I mind losing on a Scratcher...

It's that the Lottery has to INSULT me by making every single hand lose to the dealer by one card! (click pix to see disasterous results)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Canon

i love my camera..i'm not very good at it yet but that's becuase i keep it on manual settings and try to get the right shot. I'm having problems with the lighting factor...


Sexy....

Monday, March 17, 2008

HIGHLANDER!

I love my BFF, Janet. She always buys things I need...

Now we can take both dogs hiking and we'll all have plenty of room to stretch out. They can even watch movies to keep them distracted on the way there and back!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Cynical...

Just when you think you're 42 and overly cynical, comes a song like this:



It reminds me of when I was hopeful about life. About love. Remember that?

Addictions...

Okay, so aside from the alcohol, occasional American Spirit, casino, milk, ben & jerry, Tivo, scratcher, ding dong, Kevin, harry potter, iced grande soy no-whip mocha addictions, I now have aNOTHER one: photography. in all its forms...and ta daaaa....

THIS is my newest toy...

I can thank my brother, Eric, for forcing me to buy this as he took back his sony cybershot. I had never shot video with it before but then did it this one time and now i must do more.

Eric...you owe me 100 bucks.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Diet not working fast enough...

...i scratched my belly the other day and i literally scratched UNDERNEATH in this area as shown below:
(not actual belly)

I was bad, bad this weekend. ate pizza, drank scotch & beer. And wine. And didn't work out. But last night when my sweats were tight, it became a more serious issue. I have 23 pounds to lose by June 1st. If someone wants to put up, saaaay, 25,000$ if I succeed, that might be a good motivator.

any takers?

Sunday, March 09, 2008

tidbits #7

I'm having fun with my new camera. I didn't touch it for a few days because it was rather intimidating. I'm afraid i'll suck so if I never pick it up, I'll never know. But i didn't spend all those pretty pennies to never pick it up.

When I did, one of the shots I captured was this one and I must say, I was mighty proud that I took that shot! I think I'm going to be faaaamooousss....!!

well. then i took this one and was soon brought back to planet Earth:



Back to the moon...



and crash & burn....



I keep reminding myself, I've only really used this camera 3 times; but, I'm impatient and I must be Annie Lebowitz now.

On another note, growing up we had an old German clock that Mom always kept in the kitchen. I have always wanted this clock and when i grew up and moved out, I reeeally wanted that clock. But Mom would send me off some of her other old clocks instead of this one. (i know she did this on purpose becuase she did the same thing to my brothers)

The last time I visited my mom and learned that she, most likely, would not be coming home, my brother Eric and I packed up this favorite clock. While we were partying of course. When I mentioned this to my older, more responsible brother, he didn't think that was such a good idea. But i said if i ask mom and she says it's okay then i'll be okay with it.

When we went to the hospital that night, i asked her if i could have the clock. No response. Now she's hard of hearing so ididn't know if she just didn't hear me so i repeated it. No answer.

I took that to mean not a good idea. Then I suddenly felt like a vulture.

When we got home I made Eric unpack the clock and re-hang it much to his protest. As Mom got progressively worse, she began to do odd things. One night, Michael told me, she got out of her hospital bed to 'do the dishes' thinking she was at home. Mike said she was probably checking to see if the clock was still there.

ha! true that...anyway, after she passed, Michael and Eric did pack up the clock and now it is mine.



When it chimes I am reminded of my mom. I can smell her house and try to remember only the good times and that just makes me feel a little bit better.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Cleavage and Track Suit Friday!

I love this day...i can practically wear my jammies to work. Plus I've been riding my bike to work; it's a pain in the ass to change in to "work" clothes when you get here but today i don't have to. yay!

Betcha wish I had a camera ; )

And lookie what I bought myself today!


when i'm not recording reminders, I can record my farts! God, life is getting better....

Monday, March 03, 2008

Kody

you HAVE to check out my dogs site...this video is very funny IMHO.

http://kodycode.blogspot.com

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Aaah...boyfriends...

My friend* was dating this guy named David**. Now David was a nice guy in person but on paper, anyone would run. He’s had many DUI’s, a petty theft arrest, has no car, no license, a daughter he barely gets to see, lots of other little issues and can’t read. (I know…sign me up, right?) But, like I said…nice guy in person. Very non-descript, gentle – normal.

So after a few months my friend is deciding this guy may not be worth all the hassle. So she tells him “let’s just be friends” and she meant this sincerely. Most guys hate to hear that especially when they’re enamored with the female subject. And he didn’t take this lightly so now he’s become sort of a stalker. Texting 10 times a day, calling the other 28 times…she’s kinda worried he might just come over uninvited. But Kevin and I were talking about how good of a stalker could he really be? Here’s the conversation and episode we created as a synopsis:

“Bitch! You’d better watch out because I am so coming over. I know I live 15 miles away but I’ve mapped out the light rail route and bus route and I will so be there in 12 hours!”

Now this gives my friend plenty of time to go house shopping, put in an offer, pack her belongings, sign the papers and move in to new pad.

Our thought was he’d probably call her at 2 a.m. and ask if she could pick him up because light rail doesn’t run that late.

Ooooh…scaaarryyy…..

*no names needed
** name changed to protect the “innocent