Are you my mother?: December 2007

Dear, Dear Diary...

...tell me what to do.

My boyfriend is confused about his sexuality. Here he is watching football AND grooming himself.

and me other bloody boy is a THIEF! (he's partial to sunchips)

Mmm, Mmm...afternoon snack!

I went to Togo's on this morning's break because i was THAT starving ( and THAT bored ). I got a sandwich and a cup of soup and with that soup they gave me a piece of bread. I didn't really need that bread since i had my sandwich so I tossed it, still in it's wrapper (important fact for later).

This afternoon I was REALLY starving - again ( and still THAT bored ) so i opened up my Progresso Vegetable Noodle soup. That piece of bread sounded pretty good right then. If you know me, you'll know that I'm not above eating food that has fallen on the floor, eating off my fork after Kody's had a bite or drinking a beer with a cigarette butt in it so I normally reached in the garbage to grab my bread:

My first reaction was shock. Then disgust becuase one thing I AM above is eating hairy bread. Thanks Michelle for using MY can to dump your excess hair.

Merry Christmas!

I stayed home yesterday because an extra 5 shots of Patron will do that to you. I watched scary movies all day on my free movie channel. What a lump.

On Christmas eve, I bought Kevin a pair of Family Guy shorts because we're both obsessed with Family guy:

So funny...but THAT gift was hiding his real gift: an ipod shuffle.

The look is because we were not supposed to buy each other gifts but he has been scoping out shuffles for months and he does so much for me (and Kody. And my friends) year round that why not? (kody thinks everything is for him)

And here is my very own Sir Isaac Newton:

So over the last few days, I've done nothing but drink, play games and sleep. Ain't Christmas grand?

p.s. FULL PHOTO CREDIT GOES TO MICHELLE

My next nutty quest...

...will be a half marathon.

that's right. Fatty ol' me is going to run 13.1 miles on May 3, 2008 and my first training day is Saturday, 1/5/08 at 8:30am. That means no happy (four) hour Friday night on 1/4.

poo.

guess I've got two weeks to do it up! my favorite time of ever is the last day of anything: Last day before diet, last day before quit drinking, last day before going back to work....

Lazy Sunday

My lovely Kody let me sleep in til 10:00 am today!!!

I eventually rolled out of bed, threw on my finest, logged on to Golden 1 to ensure i had money and headed to Starbucks.

I ordered my usual: iced grande soy no-whip mocha in a venti cup with xtra ice and for a treat i had a maple scone. $5.35. The guy behind the bar said "Well there's a face I haven't seen in a while!"

I handed him my card.

"I know! But where have YOU been?"

"I work nights now....um....it says declined."

Oh God. I hate that. I don't mind looking homeless; but, when shit happens to back up the idea that i might be...yeah...i hate that.

I asked if he minded if i just brought back the money and he commented not to worry that he'd take care of it today. Ugh. Oh no you won't...no little starbucks boy is going to carry me! do you know who i am???

When i brought back the cash, he remembered my order and re-rang it back in. Now I know my beauty must've made him nervous, looking all hot in my cigarette-burned Old Navy fleece coverup, covering up my pale blue, hair dyed stained jammies, with bed hair poking out in every direction, topped off with fuzzy teeth; but, the only flirty thing he could come up with was "Were you overdrawn?"

Yeah...i'm hot now.

Car Ribbons

I'm sick of car ribbons. Everyone and their mother has one.

And remember the first time you saw one, you thought "that's cool..." Then you see it a million different ways with a million different sentiments over a million long months.

So, I'm adding mine....

My Christmas Party!

I had my Christmas Party this past Saturday so no one has to buy anyone gifts. It was supposed to be at my house but the stress of it all made me drink more so Kevin offered to have it at his house. There really would have been no way for me to de-hair my house in time anyway.

Janet and I did all the shopping for the party Friday night, when I felt better. AND we put it all together Friday night too so when Saturday rolled around, we just had to haul everything over to Kevins house and set up. I liked that. and Janet bought a cool fire pit for the back yard to keep the smokers warm while they indulged.

(the hostesses)
The party was to start around six but Sally called around 5, bored and ready to go so she came over which is fine by me because I can start the party anytime! When she got there I made us all drinks while Janet slaved away preparing the hot food.

(must've been my christmas present because i really didn't have to do much once people starting rolling in)

SALLY!

Everyone pretty much came around the same time (except Sally of course) and we partied, ate, chatted and let all the libations soak in.

then we played Apples to Apples. God. That's when the elevated voices started. which eventually crescendo'd and continually stayed at an ear-deafening level. We tried to play Cranium, one of my favorite games; but, you just could not keep people focused.

So I gave up and served my CHRISTMAS JELLO SHOTS!!! (sally asshole put one down my pants and that is quite messy)

Sheila like doing this pose thing that she swore took 10 pounds off her frame. So I tried to do it with her, which added Michelle and then Janet. Aren't we gay?

Then came the singing..>Kevin and I doing our now world-famous Baby it's Cold Outside:

Then the dancing...

And of course, what would a Christmas Party be without White elephant?

Course half the gifts got left at the house so I REALLY made out :)

Sheila saying "hi!"

Janet "poofing"

Just a cool pix....

Near the end of the night...

AND, as always, the next day....

Oh. My. God.

Well, I got kicked off jury duty. I made a comment during the trial, under my breath, to my co-juror and somehow it was overheard by someone. The lawyer? A co-juror? I don’t know; but I was pretty devastated. I even cried while I was being questioned. I felt like I was on trial. Of course after I left, I had plenty to defend myself. I AM completely impartial. I have no idea if Carline was involved in the death of her very own 3 year old or if her boyfriend/roommate was responsible. Or if it really was an accident. So as a juror i'm completely impartial and now that it has been brought to my attnetion - that i have a big mouth, i'd actually keep it closed.

but no matter. Even though i was only one of seven people talking about the toddler's shoes, i got thrown off.

Anyway, really, the problem is…it’s not that I’m not on a child murder case anymore; but, that I have to go back to work and I don’t want to.

How friggin’ sad is that?

But on a lighter note, last Saturday we celebrated Sally’s birthday and Kevin and I sung "baby it’s cold outside" and got a standing ovation! It was a whirlwind of fun and I met some great people (and some not-so-great people) and was home by I have no idea. So enjoy the pictures and please note how great my hair looks!

Here is the beginning of the night. As you can tell, Sally is already piped and grabbing my baby's weenie.