Wednesday, May 28, 2008


No one's ever accused me...

...of being a genius.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Good luck lady bug...

I went to trader joe's this morning for my monthly shopping. I grabbed muffins, bananas, asparagus, spring mix and went for a bag of spinach when I spotted a lady bug in the bag. I bought THAT bag just because of the lady bug. Since I knew she was there, I'd be able to free she is on my parsley...I think she looks happy!

In case I haven't told the Internet how much I love it lately; I LOVE YOU, INTERNET! It helped me REPAIR my garbage disposal! damn.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Poopie shit all to hell

I interviewed for an AWESOME position in Jackson, CA a few weeks ago. When i walked out of that interview I did the "yessa!" move, knowing I nailed it! The woman who interviewed me said "Don't panic if you don't hear from us for a few weeks, blah, blah, blah" shut the hell up...

I found out yesterday they gave the job to an ex co-worker of mine. Whom I adore; but, I really thought I was a much better fit. It's a training position and you need someone dynamic to train, right? Fred* is not dynamic. He's sweet, kind, funny, etc...but not training material.

This news also came after I majorly bombed an interview yesterday. So, needless to say, I was pretty much hating myself.

funny...I told this girl at work my sad story and I compared her to someone a little dimmer than candle light and said if they picked dim girl over you "wouldn't you totally think you were a piece of shit?" She said "No. I'd think they were stupid." It's always shocking to me to see the differences in peoples thinking.

I need to be more like her.

*His name is not Fred

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


I bought a BBQ grill at Big Lots over the weekend because it was a Char-broil and it was only $179. Seeings how Michelle suggested I spend a good $500 for a decent grill, I thought I was way ahead of the game.

When I got it home, it was a million degrees but I thought I'd open the box and see if it would take me less than 5 minutes to put it together. When I saw this, I opened a beer and turned on the t.v.

I eventually pleaded with my knight in shining armor to please help me (aka: you do it) and gave him "The Kody". He came over and in less than an hour, built this:

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Now my veggies don't stand a chance!

(ignore the back yard. sally is supposed to come over and design me a new one lest i tear her a new one. hahahahah...DAMN i sharp off my meds!)

Monday, May 19, 2008


I actually wanted an iced soy mocha this weekend. But everytime I go to "my" starbucks, she's already making my quad espresso over tons of ice in a venti cup.

Because I'm so flattered that they always remember my drink AND my name, I had to go to another starbucks.

Maybe going off my meds is NOT a good idea.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My vegetable garden...

To steer away from poopie talk, here are some photos of my veggie garden. Now, the artichoke plant, i planted LAST year. It gave me one sad little choke so I gave up on it and ignored over the winter to get this:

Here's a baby tomato. It took me MANY tries to photograph this one becuase i could never see it in the lens! BUt i'm GLAD it's there!

Since I have such a small back yard, I decided to utilize what i had, so I now plant tomatoes randomly throughout my yard and protect them from Kody with the metal thingies. I had the HUGEST tomato plants last year that this year there are random wild ones growing in a few spots.

and to put ON those yummy basil.

Also, not pictured: zucchini, yellow squash, lemon cucumbers, cucumbers, cilantro, sage, chives, red peppers and orange peppers...i think i mentioned this in an earlier blog. can you tell i'm excited?

Monday, May 12, 2008

Say what?

I was standing in Michelles cubicle "doorway" last week, chatting a bit about this and a bit about that.

Out of nowhere, it hits and I start to do the poopie dance. She's still talking, so I interrupt her to say I gotta go poo...Incrediously, she offers to come with.

I stop dancing and stare at her for like 15 seconds and say "Are you kidding?"

"What!?! Everyone poops!"

"Yeah...and every chance I get, I like to do it alone." And I backed away slowly, keeping eye contact until I was free to run.

Just right:
Not enough info:

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Weight aka: fuck

Debby and I were lamenting about how difficult weight loss has become.

I started my low carb / no sugar thing on April 1st. It is now May 7th and i've lost 3 pounds. I was supposed to be trying on bikini's by now! There ain't no Lane Bryant bikini that's pretty in my book.

When I got on the scale this morning and saw that I've only lost 3 pounds, I immediately got dressed, went to Starbucks and ordered an iced grande soy no-whip mocha in a venti cup with extra ice and a maple scone. The large one.

For lunch, I just scarfed a delicious veggie burger with seasoned french fries topped with a packet of thousand island dressing.

Tonight, I might order an ice cream sundae with extra fudge, nuts and whipped cream. Maybe I'll make it a double. And I'll eat it while watching all my Raymonds and Forensic Files.

I'm going to see how big I can get and let me assure you, I'll gain WAY more than 3 pounds in the same amount of time it took me to lose it.

Here's to my future.

Wanna date?

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Tidbit Blog

Don't have too much to report so I'll do my fav: bits & pieces.

My garden looks amazing. The artichoke plant I planted last year and completely ignored over the winter is HUGE! I've already harvested two chokes and they were amazing. This year I planted zucchini, red & Orange peppers, yellow squash, 5 different tomato plants, sage, basil, parsley, cilantro, lemon cukes, cukes, arugula and rosemary. That's gonna be some salad!

I have a promotional interview tomorrow in Ione which is about 30 minutes outside of Sacramento. It's a gorgeous drive; but, i'm still nervous. Interviews are stupid. What you SHOULD do is hang out with your potential ee's for a day. In my case, I'd have game day. They could see how smart AND competitive I am. Wait...nevermind.

We celebrated Quattro de Mayo at a restaurant that was close to my house. they had a 7 piece band, shots of tequila and a mechanical bull. I so wanted to ride the bull but that might not look good to the insurance company that their broken-backed client is drunkedly riding a bull. and really, i hurt myself misstepping sometimes...

I joined a company as an evaluator for restaurants and bars. My first assignment is a bar. I have to VERY careful to ensure no police are involved in my evaluation; this could be challenging. But that sounds fun becuase you're assigned an establishment, you review said place and they send you reimbursement money for your time! who doens't like to eat & drink for free? I'll let you know how my first 'job' went.

My first major purchase from a surprise funding i received from my moms estate will be a jacuzzi. Used, of course, because i am NOT a big spender unless i have lots of money which i do not. And i wasn't going to spend any money and simply invest it all but who the hell wants to do that? My luck I'll die 6 months before I retire and all that money will be left dusty.

party on, garth.

Friday, May 02, 2008

New Passover Story

Wanna know what it's like being me? Let me give you a little more insight...

Kevin and Graham went out for happy hour Wednesday night. Remember, Graham is the one that was holding the lovely Passover dinner that I begged myself, silently, to behave at...

Kevin called me the next day and said he got more Passover stories that he had yet to hear. I had yet to hear these either.

Apparently, Graham had hidden the Matzah bread, which is tradition (?) and it was time to look for the location. I went directly to the room where I saw him bring the bread in (i'm a SMART drunk!) and searched the location which the bread actually was hidden. Course I didn't find it; but, what I did find was Graham's underwear, which I proceeded to put a pair on my head and wander out in to the living area where Graham and his friends and family were gathered.


I bemoaned that Graham will never invite me to another party ever again when Kevin said "Are you kidding? You're invited to EVERY party he has..."

Being laughed at stings just a little...