Saturday, December 31, 2011

good riddance 2011

Let’s give a synopsis of 2011, shall we?

I gained a shit load of weight.  Then I lost it.  Then I gained it again, lost it, gained it, lost it, gained it, really lost it and back to gaining.

Then I quit drinking.  And started again.  And quit, and started and quit and started and quit and started and quit and started and quit and started and quit and started and quit and started and quit.
Took 3 months off from work WHICH you would think would be a good thing; but, it horribly wasn’t.

Lost two of my BFF’s (well…just BF I guess since the last F belongs to Lost now) due to irreconcilable differences, one so mind numbingly devastating, it just shook my foundation, as shaky as that is.
And on Christmas Eve day, Zephyr, my feisty Beta, died.

Seems daunting to try and change myself.  As my prior post states, another year…..but I really can’t live another year like this one.  I’d rather die. 
2012’s daily mantra:  Stop thinking about the past, and don’t worry too much about what’s going to happen in the future. Your presence is a present so live for today and appreciate everyone and everything you have.  Stop thinking about what you don’t have, what you wish you had, who walked out of your life, and whatever else that falls in that category. Think about what you have, who you have in your life, and how fortunate you are.

Hmmm….time to get my big girl panties on…


Friday, December 30, 2011

Classic

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Sometimes...

...postsecret cards can say it all...

2012 had better be the best year yet becuase i will NOT have another year like 2011.

and on that note, i will try to live by these rules:

double posted but still....

Monday, December 26, 2011

movie day

going to see the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo...who am I?

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Perspective

When i was younger and much hotter, i would get approached or asked out by any kind of man.  Tall, short, ugly, fat, old, etc...and i used to ask myself "damn...am i just not as pretty as i think i am?"

Now that i'm older and, in my eyes MUCH more unattractive, when i get approached by good looking men (IMO) I have to ask  myself..."damn...am i prettier than i think i am?"

So i'm selling my hot tub on craigslist and the guy on the phone sounds cute but i'm highly picky (for whatever reason).  he shows up in a huge 4x4 pickup truck and is frickin gorgeous.  thank GOD i covered my two zit scars before he came...that was all i had.  I tried to be non-chalant like i didn't know he was gorgeous cuz that would have made me nervous. 

When he left I said Oh don't forget your glasses...and he said...get this..."thanks...and like i won't be able to forget those eyes and that smile."..WTF??? Am I prettier than i think i am??  We flirted via text for the next 4 hours but since he's 32 and i already had my tryst with a youngster, i'll nip that one in the bud.

tonight, i went to the liquor store to buy fire logs and my lonely pint of vodka and KiKi (hot, ethnic 30 year old) asked if he could spend his Christmas night with me.  not just once but THREE TIMES!  WTF???  Am i prettier than i think i am?  And mind you...i'm not in my heels, tight jeans and heavy eye liner...i'm in my jammies, clean faced and ponytail.

I need to take a second look at myself...

Shocking

I was watching Animal Cops the other day. this was a case of a mother and her 15 year old son who let this dog starve to death.  The officers tried to save the dog; but, it was too late.  he passed in the night.

during the trial, even the prosecuter, who does nothing BUT prosecute cases of animal neglect and abuse, had to stop to regain composure...
the owner was a 15  year old boy so it was the mother who was arrested.  She spent 1 day in jail and paid a fine of $500.  Taht's how much that dogs life was worth.


But check out how much PAINT'S life is worth:
disturbing.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas!!!

hahaha...Mr. Tanya Kristine?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Nipple!

YES!.....there were about 70 people (!!!) at Shayna's baby shower so you had people milling about all over the house, out in the garage and the smokers in the driveway.  Only about 15 people were paying attention to Shay when she was opening her gifts which i was kinda glad since my gift was next...When she opened up the box, she looked confused.  She pulled out the baby whiskey bottle, saw the nipple on it and cracked UP! She passed it to Jason who totally loved it (he's the guy in the pix..ain't he gorgeous???). Dena grabbed it from Jason's hand and called for everyone's attention to her friend that brought the baby a baby whiskey bottle.  I meakly tried to explain my theory of starting them off early so they won't become an alcoholic; but, since i was surrounded by alcoholics it was a hit. CLASSIC!!! i love me!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Holy Fucking Shit

and the reason for my divine profanity?
















I have been waiting six loooooooooooooooooong years for that ending.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Busy Saturday


Today is chore day since last night was Dexter / Homeland night followed by a game of Mexican Train with Julie, Stan and my brother.  I ALMOST won but asshole Stan is ALWAYS the winner.  me no likey...And tomorrow is Shayna's baby shower.  yay.

I pulled my couch out to clean underneath it and remembered that i have a hot mess of an electrical outlet.  I actually changed that thing all by myself.  It's not hard; but, power things totally freak me out.  looks good, eh?


So, for Shayna's shower tomorrow, I bought a cool mirror that sticks in the back seat so you can see your baby when you're driving, some cute little boy hats, diapers and a funny card that will depict the next 5 years of her life.


























Of course my gag gift is an ounce of whiskey with a nipple which will be followed by the statement of "I heard if you start them off early, they won't become an alcoholic later on in life..."  Those that know me will find this very funny...those that don't, will find the usual, though undeserved,  inappropriateness of my humor.

thhthhbbpt!

Choice

I think i need to read this every morning...

Thursday, December 15, 2011

hahah..

We had our christmas party today and this gentleman played his flute for us.  This video is the one of his tiny 1" flute (so many jokes) that kinda sounds like a bird...i almost pee'd my pants it was pretty funny.  AND it hurt my ears but he was so sweet & brave.  Our hats off to him...(sorry...you have to tilt your head)
video

I'm bored...

I just realized I’ve got nothing going on in my life right now. I’ve got no man to focus on, no drama, a regular day-to-day job, my bills are paid, Kody is healthy…Time to drum up something good.


Vacation? Elephant Sanctuary? Best Friends Animal Sanctuary? My Vet Tech school? Quit my job? The choices are endless….and I’ve got to pick something cuz momma needs a new story line.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

White Elephant exchange

I wrapped up my Christmas Story movie for our White Elephant gift exchange.  I drew #11. 

#10 took Nick's gift so he ended up picking my movie.  And since I was #11, I took back my DVD.  HA!

My new droid sucks sucks SUCKS!  I want my iPhone back.  However, AT&T just credited my bill $147...can you believe that???  But since i've had my droid (oct. 20) i have never connected to the 4G network.  Now i have to go to the ATT store on Howe avenue and do more shit.  getting sick of this...i'm gonna convince them to exchange my infuse for the iPhone 4G. 

Love you Janice

Janice got in to town Sunday night and I had to whisk her to Julies for my brothers birthday dinner.  She was a good sport even though she had been up for 20 hours.  And, of course, everyone loved her.  You can't help BUT love Janice.  She's one of those genuine, honest, good-hearted people and I adore her.

My new thing is no drinking during the week but what the hell am i supposed to do when my drinking high school buddy is in town???  She suggested white russians (fuck) since that's her favorite drink.  I was going for the small bottle of kahlua and the pint of vodka but she wanted to get the 5th of both so i'd have some left over for another night.

Um.  no.  there's an inch left of each.  BUT we had an awesome time talking about everything under the sun, in front of the fire, with a few attempts at some games until we crawled in to bed around midnight.

And why i don't drink during the week anymore is becuase i went in at 9, passed out copies of the mega lottery tickets and went home.  I'm a pussy.




Tuesday night, I got all the girls together to meet for dinner.  My brother and Julie came too and it was good because it was my brothers birthday so why not?

It was a good Tuesday night. We left around 8:30 and i was in bed by 9.

Janice just left this morning and i'm sad.  She's awesome company and she will be missed.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Uneventful Weekend

A nice quiet and mellow weekend going to be followed with a raucous party the next 3 days!  JANICE IS COMING TO TOWN!  Unfortunately, it's sunday night thru wednesday so not exactly the best timing but i'm sure we'll make it work. : )  Love you girl!

Took Kody to the vet for a few small reasons and the vet said again (a different vet too) that he was in the most amazing shape for a large 12 year old dog.  She was on the floor with him petting him while talking to me and every time she'd stop, he'd push her around.  after the 3rd push she said to him "my goodness you're a demanding dog!"  ha ha ha....that's an understatement.

We're having our christmas luncheon wednesday.  i'm making crockpot mac & cheese. 

Wow.  Really?  That's all i got?

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

This made me LOL...

Seriously.  THAT is my fridge...

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Sally's b'day party...

Janet and I went to Magpies for a late lunch yesterday. GOD my hair came out good! There was this darling pregnant girl there who told us this was her 2nd child. her daughter was 13 and she was premature so the birth wasn't too bad. This one was proving to be a rather large boy so i suggested that she start smoking now to encourage another premature birth and she'd be safe.

As those words came out of my mouth, I immediately felt flushed like that was so inappropriate to say and she looked at me for about 3 seconds and started to totally laugh. Then she added that she would also add some cocktails to that suggestion. phew.


We split a portobella mushroom sandwich with a white bean spread on focaccia bread. it was frickin AMAZING. Awesome flavors...and the Magpie's version of Mac & Cheese...delish.



The party was supposed to be at Shady Lady but they had a wedding reception there and without

blinking an eye, i knew Sally just simply walked a block to the nearest bar and, yes, i was right.

R-15



she had a nice turnout...i love her friends. we stayed til about 8 and headed home chalking up a normal evening out with friends and an early bedtime. : )


chore and animal cop marathon day...

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Riddle me this...

What's better than receiving the ever-exclusive and rare invite from your favorite co-workers to leave work early on a friday for steel tip darts & beer at Fox & Goose?



Going.

Friday, December 02, 2011

Mexican Dookie

I was famished yesterday and all I wanted was a bean & cheese burrito. Our cafeteria in our building is disgusting but that's how hungry i was. I grabbed one of those packaged ones but when i went to pay for it, said "BEEF" and cheese so I put it back.



The blind guy behind the register said they'd make one for me so I ordered one. She looked at me like I was crazy. "Just bean & cheese? no rice? no veggies? Nothing?"

After 5 minutes of waiting I had to ask how that simple bean & cheese burrito was coming along becuase after all, it's just BEANS & CHEESE!!!

And this is what I got.


A huge, cold, unmelted velveeta cheese burrito. For $3.50. I actually took it back. becuase for $3.50 i can get 3.5 bean & cheese burrito's at Taco Bell...