fucking muther fucker.

I don't know what i weighed when i started this becuase i didn't WANT to know. but i did weigh myself Sunday morning and again this morning and i think i gained a tenth of a pound.

i just went back to bed.

oh well. nothing i can do. i HAVE to stay on this no sugar diet. it's harder the more times you do low-carb too but really i don't want to buy in to that. Suzanne somers said it took her TWO months to start losing. the GREAT thing about low-carb is once you START losing, it melts off like hot butter. I said by May but June is okay too. at least by May i'll be allowed out in public.

i was thinking of going cross country skiing Saturday; but, I don't feel like making that huge of an effort so i might blade to sunrise and then take the train home instead. if it's not raining, that is. i'm trying to ride my bike to work, Mon, Wed & Fri and tuesday and thusday i run. and then ONE big workout on the weekend. Sounds good to me. although i'm still wicked sore from Saturday's hike...i look like an 80 year old woman when i get out of bed in the morning..ahhaah...aaaaall worth it.

Okay...gotta walk the mutt.

Marin County

I blog for my ex becuase he reads my blog. I'm aware i'm like michelle who blogged for Graham mostly as her healing process. or to win him back. We're hopeless. course it worked for her; it will never work for me.

I also blog and unblog like Debby. maybe THAT'S why i have no friends...cuz they're all like me.

So. Kevin. We all went to Marin county yesterday to try to hike the BootJack trail. Course we had no map and ended up on 4 different trails but it didn't matter. it was still beautiful and strenuous.


I love meadows...even dead ones...





Mt. Theater from the bottom...





...and the top.






this was the view for the remainder of the hike in the afternoon. love it.





after the hike we headed to stinson beach and had lunch at The Sand Dollar.

Eric, Chris, Dena, Me

I had one drink, Dena had 2 and Eric had 3. I had the steamed clams and everyone else had burgers...


iphone 3gs do not take very good pictures but these were BEAUTIFUL green GREEN beach trees:


It was a really nice day. I needed to get out of this shithole town and all it's shithole shit.

chore day.

The Heavens parted...

...and the angels sang just for me...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1344486/New-Years-resolution-alcohol-detox-destroyed-life.html

Poopie...

I drank last night. So much. But I was celebrating my lottery win; which, as I see, was a bit premature. Whatever.

I had fun dreaming about such a huge win. I was interviewing at the press conference for about 2 hours while I cooked, colored & curled my hair and played with Kody. I do love my drink so I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I didn’t cheat on my diet and I’m in ketosis this morning.

AND I rode my bike in which was completely invigorating. I also bought a bolt cutter to finally cut the lock off that’s been on “my” parking spot for over a friggin year! I’ve never once seen it used. So irritating. I’ll tell you, that felt reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally good.

Monday, Monday...

I was supposed to get up at 6:00 but i was dreaming that i was traveling to China and although i'd NEVER want to go to China, i was at least on a trip. Brad and Angie were there too. Why do i dream about those two!?!

So i got up at 6:20 instead. I still have to pack my bike, walk kody and head in in this freeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing ass cold weather. but that's okay. My goal is to lose 40#s in 5 months and i can't start backtracking now. My other goal is not to call in sick this entire month. Should be super easy since i'm not drinking for January. I even planned a marin hike Saturday so I'm focused on working out; not drinking. Course if I do steep ravine, i'm drinking a kegger.

I'm hoping by May I can actually don a bikini. hahah...i'm laughing just thinking about it for now. Poor segue, I had a pizza delivered this weekend from my local pizzeria and the delivery boy said "on a personal note, I think you are very beautiful." I blinked rapidly a few times and told him he should not be drinking and driving. I was stunned for 20 hours over that. Sad I was so stunned but in all fairness and my obvious beauty aside, i did NOT look hot when he came to my door. I'm thinking he saw me the week before when i went in with my seattle friend to pick up his pizza. i looked fucking HOT then. I must have set that place abuzz since they always see me in my homeless attire...hahahah...

I'm going back to low-carb and it's becuase i can make gorgeous feasts which means cooking. I do love to cook. The ants in my kitchen love it too.

I don't even know why I'm blogging. I suppose I've been lonely and it feels good to connect with random people around the world and, of course, my ever-favorite DB. Also, I do miss having coffee in the a.m. and posting random thoughts. I did join a woman's only bunco group. No idea what bunco is but it's a game, it's only once a month and I need new friends.

Well...I've got lots of thoughts this morning. i think i'm just delaying the inevitable...going outside. The mega lotto is at $290 mil. I hope I win because I'm moving back to maine and i'm taking my brother with me.